


Speak low, if you speak love.

by Chandrakantya



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Awkwardness, Children, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots Who Don't Know How To Have Emotions And Romantic Feelings, Leorai Week, Light-Hearted, Mutual Pining, Secrets, Slow Burn, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, They're Not Okay But They're Trying, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, getting married, romantic trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-01 05:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chandrakantya/pseuds/Chandrakantya
Summary: "Close your eyes. Fall in love. Stay there."Their passions are made of nothing but the finest part of pure love. Love. Madness that is the greatest of heaven's blessings. Love. Hearts that are always young. ( A collection of one-shots with prompts, written for Leorai Week 2018 )*First Place in the TMNT 2018 Universal Reader's Choice Awards for Loveliest Romance*





	1. Getting Married

**Author's Note:**

> (Title and summary because I'm a sucker for Shakespeare and Plato and basically anything 'ancient'.)
> 
> IT'S LEORAI WEEK, hold onto your FRIGGIN' SHELLS weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I feel like I'm too excited, but, oh, well, the hell with it, they deserve it! ;D I absolutely loved writing this and it felt a lot easier than multi-chapter fics, so yay! XD
> 
> Plus, I'm just realizing that with hour difference, I'll be updating, like, a day earlier, but who cares? :D
> 
> P.S. I'm just going with T RATED here, but I'm not entirely sure :/

_'Cause even the stars they burn_  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it

_Well, I won't give up on us_  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love

* * *

 Getting Married

* * *

The first time he tries, they're still seventeen. Young and filled with the enthusiastic feelings that come with the irreversible situations they have been put in.

It feels like something is missing, and that makes them - all of them, eager and avid, perhaps because of the sense of freedom and rebellion their lack of – their lack provides.

But still.

Still

The absence is fresh, too fresh; hiding in each reeking corner, echoing in the silence, crashing against the walls and Leo thinks how he should feel. He has realized an immense amount of things in a measurable amount of time and it makes his head spin.

They are scattered all over the kitchen, limbs wrecked and bruised – signs of late-night businesses, trying to swallow the water jug Donnie passes around with a tired smile on the edges of his lips – trying to swallow the sudden emptiness that has taken over them.

Leo watches them from away, observing and taking in all the little shots in time his little family does – the easy way Donnie's and April's hands fall on a cup of coffee at the same time and they chuckle, Raph's manic gleam in his eyes that Leo remembers from their childhood as he arm wrestles with a toothy Casey, Mikey's ample smile covering his face as his hands move around funnily and the fact that Karai's eyes look brighter than they have ever been and Leo is wondering how it had taken him that much time to figure out just how deep his love runs.

Love for his brothers.

Love for his friends.

And love for her.

Just for her.

She has been the worst of all, he thinks, and can't exactly blame her. It's too hard, even for her, the strongest warrior he has ever meet, the most breathtaking person he has come to encounter in his life, the most beautiful soul he was allowed to know inside and out, he muses in his head, as Karai brushes a bit of her hair behind her ear with careful fingers and Leo-

He's so achingly in love, so much it swells inside his chest and pounds against his plastron, daring to come out on its own and break him apart.

He's ready.

He's always been ready.

The tiny box in his hand feels a dozen times heavier. The ring inside is raw and glistening, made from his calloused hands and sweat, way back, before everything had come apart, in the breaths of silence of his room.

Cautiously carved and bright, engraved with curving letters,  _あなたは私の世界です_ _._ _You are my world._

He wishes he had the chance to ask his father first, not so much for permission as much as for blessing. He doesn't look for approval, his decision is final – even if he hopes in the corners of his mind that his sensei is somewhere around here, bowing and nodding to him.

Karai, all of a sudden, flashes him a smile, beckoning him with gracious fingers and a hint of longing and lingering pain that makes Leo's heart hurt piercingly and sharply as he returns the juvenile grin with all that he's left.

He clutches the box in his hand sorely and sighs a breath of profound anticipation.

It's not time, yet.

* * *

The second time he tries (or considers it, technically), it's just weeks after.

They are all sitting in the common room of the lair, crouched in front the small TV (April has insisted again and again that buying another one, a bigger one, would be the least of a problem for her) during a Saturday night.

April's father is out of town and she has decided to snuggle all them in under over-sized blankets, announcing they will be living here for the next eight hours. A bunch of old DVDs, popcorn, and chips as they watch crappy musicals.

Even Karai is here, although she seems tired and looks like she could welcome easily her very anatomically confortable bed (he may have spent a few nights there as well) of her apartment.

Despite that, she tries to appear as excited as they are, clutching a good amount of popcorn in her hand as she leans her head to Leo, her lips barely brushing his ear slit. "What has happened so far?"

Leo blinks at her and offers her a tentative smile. "Veronica. She felt she had nothing to lose and broke into J.D.'s bedroom through the window and seduced him, "he remarks and Karai nods impressively, "losing her  _virginity_  in the process," he adds, dragging each word and she can't help but snort soundly through her nose, stamping her feet that are tangled with his beneath the blanket.

"Shh!" Donnie hushes, "Veronica is  _trying_  to apologize!" he exclaims silently, his eyes laced with what Leo can describe only as blasphemy as he points to the screen.

Karai rolls her tongue and shakes her head. "S _o_ rry for not respecting the moment."

The next moment they turn their heads to the TV, there's a dead body of that very bitchy attractive blonde (Karai's words entirely) from the beginning of the musical.

"Damn, even murders can't make this crap better," she muffles with a full mouth and then, sends him a smirk. "Bet even 'Space Heroes' is a gem in front of this."

"Um," Leo says in a  _'duh'_  tone, darting his eyes to her face, "of  _course!_  Don't you remember the episode we saw last Friday? Captain Ryan and his crew, in the Nebulian galaxy? Found an interdimensional portal that led to an alternate, negative universe and made Captain Ryan face off against his evil carbon copy? How's  _that_  not awesome?"

He knows for a fact that he may seem a bit,  _just_  a bit of a dork, in front of her, right now, but he can't help it, and he doesn't care either, as long as Karai continues to chuckle under her hand and look at him with a feeling of not so much as mockery but as tender affection.

"Can't deny it," she jokes with a warm smile and lets an even warmer hand on the inside of his thigh, giving him a sideways grin.

Leo glances at her snarky expression and clears his throat, his voice breaking. "Uh- _huh_." She is cozy and snug against him and he thinks it would be so easy to hug her with all of his heart and press his molten lips to her neck, whispering those four words he craves hesitantly. He moves his eyes back at the screen and sees from the corner of them April watching him with furrowed brows.

He narrows his eyes at her as Casey half-chokes on his beer, half- shouts in the TV, squeezed between Raph and Donnie, " _Dude_! They sing about blue balls?  _Hi_  – larious!"

The next morning April corners him in the kitchen, slaps him lightly on the back of his head, says he's  _too_  obvious, smiles widely till her cheeks seem to ache, says she wants to have the whole proposal thing caught in camera to show it at their children.

But later. Not now.

Karai's not ready for it, not yet.

April says he's the biggest nerd of this universe and that he'll know once she is ready,  _she'll_  know once she is ready. Leo is aware the first part is true. So, he guesses the second one is true, too.

* * *

The third time he tries, they're eighteen. With each passing month, his confidence has grown, as the head of the Clan, as a brother, an unstated hero, as a lover.

Things come and go more easily, more naturally – and their life has become as common as it was before, as the way the Earth spins around the Sun in maddening perfection.

Nothing has been forgotten, and it'll never be, but they've come far, and Leo thinks it's silly how they hadn't discovered the third option between swallowing the pain or throwing it in whatever direction – the option of letting go what keeps you back (all while holding on to what keeps you alive) and truly moving forward.

The light in his room is dim and faint, scented candles and stolen touches, his pale 'Space Heroes' sheets crumpled on the bottom of the bed and Leo's inner cleanness freak urges him to fold them tight and nicely.

But, he can't move as Karai's legs are splayed along his, skin brushing skin everywhere, and maybe a part of Leo's heart doesn't want to tidy up the place just yet.

He's lost track of time – his clock on his nightstand says it's late morning already, but Leo barely remembers the sky being pitch black and his clock ticking midnight when Karai was shushing and pushing him on the bed, with gentle hands caressing places that were before untouched.

Voices, shouts, and screams, sounds like eruptions and the smell of smoke lingering in the air, Leo assures himself his clock is more than correct.

" _DID YOU JUST EAT A SAUSAGE UNCOOKED? DUDE!"_

" _I like my sausages raw and stiff."_

Leo hums and shakes his head, and isn't sure if it's in disappointment or amusement, but before he can even consider his family's morning breakfast rituals, a sigh and a snort heats up the crook of his neck.

"Your brothers  _surely_  know how to wake a person up."

Her statement is muffled, hidden with her hair and his skin, but Leo can feel Karai smile next to his body – recognizes the way Karai genuinely smiles without having to see her, the upturn of her lips brushing against his skin and her shoulders sinking in her figure.

Leo grins, a little bit dopily and tugs her roughly down to his sci-fi decorated bed, chosen only for the sexiest of times; clambering over her and raining kisses everywhere his lips can travel.

"Let  _me_  wake you up," he purrs in her ear and she laughs, a bit too loudly and thick and harsh, her real laugh, while Leo wonders where's the sudden confidence and ego come from.

He lifts his head and watches her; the only time he can really look her face (he's still shorter than her, no matter how much he has grown up) and smiles for each tiring angle on her cheeks.

He looks at her amber eyes and thinks how much they look like his father's.

He has finally found the courage to open the dojo's secret doors and meet with his eyes his sensei's room. It smelled stale and musty but Leo stayed there for hours, taking in the entire essence of the place, meditating and trying to reach his father, wanting to help him, because he might not need his permission, but he'd be thankful for some help and experienced advice.

"Shen, Miwa looks so much like her, in every single way, that it  _frightens_  me." His father would say with kind gazes, a tone laced with amusement and sincere shock.

He'd  _know_  and tell him what to do.

His brothers, (of course they know, who ever said that Leo was good at keeping secrets from the people he had basically learn to walk with?)they claimed whatever would be done, should be done in Leo's way. In the way  _he knew_  and not others.

Karai works the hem of her sleep  _"Never Kissed, Often Licked"_  T-shirt over her head and smiles dreamily as Leo rolls his eyes. She's running her fingers on his cheeks and he leans in her touch, eyes still open, staring her red lips, and able to hear the things she speaks in silence.

He loves her, too. A lot.

He drags his hand at the nightstand's drawer, searching for the fluffy box, that feels all of a sudden lighter in his grasp than the last time, but before he can grab it properly, appear it in front of Karai's face and begin the speech he has been planning for ages, rehearsing it nervously in front of a picture frame of her, she catches his wrist in a rush.

Their eyes meet and his are full and wide and scared, because if she has glanced around and seen or has guessed – well, he'd cover himself under his duckie-blankie and come out in about ten years lat-

But, she just fondles tenderly his lips, a small smile tugging her mouth as she motions him to stay quiet.

"You're so beautiful," she breathes in him, the easiest press of lips on his own as she turns them and straddles him with mellow thrusts and he responds in kind.

Leo thinks it's a matter of time – whether that means finding the courage to ask, her finding out the purposes he has planned or the flat out rejection that is waiting for him. Still. It's a matter of time.

Or maybe it's not really.

* * *

The fourth time he tries, it's too late.

She has snatched the chance before he could and surprised him.

They're nineteen, still young as the night above them, as starry as the New York City sky can be. City never sleeps. The wind is blowing hard as Leo peers over the roof. "Don?"

"There isn't any suspicious activity to report, Leo," Donnie sighs desperately, Casey's arms wrapped around his shoulders as he rests his forehead on April. "It's late. We should just call it a night."

Leo knows it's probably hopeless, but the small gangs they fought when they were  _kids_  and laughed, these gangs have grown and he is scared. He doesn't know if he can protect the people he loves. "Just another time," he promises and turns his head to his team. "Casey and Raph, west, Donnie and April, east, Mikey and Karai south and I'll go to the north."

He steps aside and is ready to give a gesture to move, but stops when Karai lets a hand on his shoulder and rubs him. "I'll come with you," she gushes and adds with a titling head and a promising smile towards his youngest brother, "Besides, Mike can handle himself. He's a strong kid, knows how to carry responsibilities. Right, Mikey?"

Mikey nods too excitedly at him, with the kind of big, blue, bright eyes he knows his brother can't resist. Leo's mouth frowns as his gaze moves to Karai. He's ready to say something, but decides against it.

He's just glad she is getting along well with his brothers.

He makes a sound, that's torn between acceptance and bewilderment and Mikey is already pumping his fists in the air, having activated his victory dance moves, "Hamato Michelangelo is in charge, heck yeah! I won't let you down, sir!"

A moment later, and they're jumping across rooftops, Karai way ahead of him, turning her head to him deliberately, shrugging shoulders and winking, till Leo finally catches her and presses her on a roof.

" _Karai_ , c'mon! Behave! We're patrolling here," he hisses as she writhes beneath him, and shudders once the coldness of the air reaches him.

"Okay, okay," she stands up and lifts her hands up, still snickering and Leo can't believe how wonderful she looks under the light of the moon, tall and proud and –  _wow_.

Karai sinks next to him, and nudges his arm. "I wanted to ask you," she drools on, dragging the words on her tongue tantalizingly, with a look that reminds Leo of a hundred things, and he breaks in a huge grin, already shaking his head.

"If this is about what we were discussing yesterday," he starts with a smirk and rolled eyes, "I still believe barging into a Calvin Klein factory to get fabrics for Foot Clan is slightly, I dunno,  _illegal_?" he says dryly.

She waves a dismissive hand to him with a smile, " _Puh-lease_ , I have this operation started  _already_ ," she declares smugly. And before Leo's scout's honors senses can kick in, Karai presses a finger to his lips. "Can you shut up and let me talk?"

Leo furrows his eye ridges, moving his head around and it's probably because Karai rarely is like this – often playful, yes, but serious undertones aren't usually floating in her air.

And when his eyes meet hers again, he gasps.

His mouth stays open as Karai is twirling a very familiar, fluffy box in her hand, leaning forward. "Idiot," she deadpans affectionately while Leo plays with his thumbs, stammering and stuttering all while trying to hold his breath.

"Think you can fool  _me_?" she continues and he wonders why things have grown hotter around them. The temperature certainly has risen, he thinks, trying to swallow a lump in his throat.

Years have passed and rumpled them, they have come closer than they ever could and yet, Leo still feels like it's the first time, feels as anxious as-

Karai grabs his fidgeting fingers with one hand, skimming over his knuckles and eases her fingers through his hand – now,  _their_  hands, and squeezes tightly.

She looks at him expectedly, waiting and murmurs softly, "Can I hear it from your lips?"

And Leo blushes, and wants to cover his face and sink in his hands but Karai is squeezing  _both_  of them firmly until his voice goes barely above a whisper as he replies to her answered question with an unanswered one, "Will you marry me?"

The sun dives in the deep sky easily through the clouds, the shrieks of buzz, passion, thrill and enthusiasm, that Leo can only guess belong to his dearest, eavesdropping siblings as Karai screams  _"Yes"_  in his ears, his face and mouth and he drags her on the ground, falling along.

They're getting married.

* * *

He should have expected it. Their family's reactions.

He can't help but have his doubts.

Because deep down, he's scared, not because he's not sure, but because he's worried if this is what she wants; this whole crazy thing that is happening in their home.

"There's no way we're  _not_  having a freaking party!" Mikey yells across the table with large eyes, and before Leo can interrupt him and explain it's just a simple ceremony he's planned and – Mikey stamps his feet on the ground, "We have so many things to do, decorate the dojo, get flowers, have a bachelor party, pick the wedding dress, make a cake –  _oh_ ,  _my God_ , the cake! I totally need to-"

And Raph and Casey have doubled themselves in laughter as Donnie reaches a book from the cupboard and hands it to Mikey.  _"Recipes for Mecha Tower Wedding Cakes"_

He jumps in his seat, flipping through the book with a cheeky smile, as Raph leans in with a grin-slanted Casey on his shoulder, "I dunno how  _I_  can help, Leo. Could give you advice for the wedding night, but I'm pretty sure you have this covered already  _again and again_."

Leo feels his cheeks redden as his brothers (and that includes Casey no matter what) give him playful nudges and snide smirks. Karai and April are outside, piles of magazines around them, Shinigami playing with Karai's hair, trying out fancy pixie cut hair do's, as they laugh and chuckle, and Leo thinks she looks so happy.

And she deserves it more than anyone. If she  _is_  that happy, he's certain.

He's even more certain when he sees her kneeled in front of the dojo tree, which looks magically alive under the sewers and the sunlight. She glances at him with fond eyes, white and bright, in a  _Shiro-muku_.

Karai motions with her head to a seat next to her, beside the cups of sake, the branches and the photo of his – of their father, who looks proud and Leo can swear he can see his eyes wander around the Japanese traditional setting he has organized (since Mikey took charge of the after-the-wedding more  _American-type_  of celebration); he'd appreciate that, he thinks.

He mimics his father's, mostly self-imaginary from the stress, action and tosses a look around, too.

Mikey seems ready to burst from happiness, clutching at April's hand, who is staring at him with a huge smile, a proud,  _'mum-like'_  smile. She mouths him a short but promising 'I love you' as Casey winks at him and beams.

Raph cracks a smile from the other side, his arms hanging around lamely and tensely, appear as if they want to wrap themselves around him and hold him tight like a shield. Donnie, standing close to Karai, turns and gives a broad and toothless grin to the both of them. She titles her head wryly, before Leo offers her a hand to get up, a hand she keeps in her palms, brings it to her lips and she kisses it.

And Leo rolls his eyes, head tilting back while he flushes slightly – taking a firm and confident step forward as Splinter's faint voice reaches his ears.

_Gokekkon kokoroyori gosyukufuku moushiagemasu._

Karai twitches lightly with delighted surprise and Leo squeezes her.

They're getting married.


	2. Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I'd go with actual children of Leo and Karai in this prompt, but since I'm a scary cat and w e a k to show my original characters, have an oldie but goodie human AU, because why not? :D
> 
> This shot can be a part of my Golden Rays 'verse as well.
> 
> Damn, this is super long, over 11k words (because I'm crazy) so I doubt people will even finish it. XD

_Maybe we're just kids in love_  
Maybe we're just kids in love  
Oh, baby  
If this is what it's like falling in love  
Then we don't ever have to grow up

* * *

Children

* * *

It starts when they are children.

"Wait," nine-year-old Leo pauses, his blue eyes looking at hers, "how many pieces again?" he asks with furrowed brows, kneeling on the floor and Karai besides him chuckles, motioning for, probably, the  _tenth_  time to the Barbie doll she has in her hands.

"You separate the first "chunk" into three pieces," she explains as careful fingers brush the blond hair of her doll, "French braids use three sections of hair to create their pattern," she adds, just to be accurate, and allows herself to let out a giggle (while checking, of course, if her father is around to reprimand her), as Leo nods, perhaps too excitedly, playing with the clumps of hair in his lap.

Karai watches as her barely four-hour-new-found friend struggles, before he finally completes the action, and breaks into a grin, staring at her. "Now?"

She tips her head, smirking, and proceeds to explain the next step. Leo looks at her expectantly, as if he's hanging from her lips, and Karai cracks a smile. She never had someone to teach (maybe if you exclude Hachiko, but Leo doesn't really feel like a lap dog to her), someone, to talk to, and someone to talk  _with_  – and she decides she likes it. She likes it a lot.

And her father said they don't need friends – how foolish he is, she wonders, shaking affectionately her head.

"I didn't know this was  _that_  fun," Leo blurts after moments of silence and hard work, holding his Barbie doll, now equipped with an impressively messy French braid, and Karai gives him a weird look. "I mean," he starts, titling his head, "I don't do these things with my brothers."

' _At least you have brothers,'_  she thinks but bites her tongue before saying it, and instead nods, "Too bad. You are good," she smiles, half-meaning it. Because Leo isn't really good at this, but he is good in general, and that's enough for Karai.

Leo takes a pose of proudness, chest out, as if this is the first time someone compliments him, "Thank you." He leans in and speaks low, his eyes reminding Karai of her mother's when she makes sure, unsuccessfully, that no one is around, so she can light up a cigarette, "you said that if I'd do it right, you were gonna show me something."

" _Oh_ , yes," Karai remembers and gets up from her crouching position between the pillows in the corner of the dojo, quick yet silent steps till she reaches an old drawer. She tries to turn her head to see if Leo has followed her, but doesn't manage to, as a puff of air tickles her neck and she jumps, looking at him with faked menace. " _Ah -_!"

Leo frowns and holds up his hands, "Sorry, sorry! Don't get mad." Karai is ready to slap Leo on the back of the head, gently,  _duh_ , because he scared her, or because he was stealthier than her, but pouts at the choice of Leo's words.

"I won't," she says, like it's the obvious, because it is, and Leo's tense shoulders relax at her stance. Karai takes a look at his face and wonders if this is how she looks when she talks to her father.

She rubs his arm with fond fingers, in a way to make him feel better – or make herself feel better. She beams at him, and Leo cracks a small smile that turns into an easy grin. Karai's stomach clenches in unfamiliar tightness, but, still, in a feeling that she has when her father rewards her. So, she guesses it's a good feeling.

She opens the drawer, and looks awkwardly inside it, until she finds what she's looking for. "Look at this," she glows, turning her head to an equally mouth-gaping Leo. "That's a tanto," she says when Leo doesn't speak, and a smile spreads on her face as she continues, "my name is graved on it, see? Father says when I grow a little bit more, it's going to be mine!"

She kind of hates herself for sounding that excited, her mother always said she should keep an unmoved façade, and not show her feelings to people that could use them – use her, but Leo doesn't seem like that kind of a person. He makes her feel like she watches an episode of  _'Mister Rogers' Neighborhood'_ , wrapped in her soft blanket.

"It's  _so_  cool," Leo's eyes are wide as he caresses the tanto, and sounds so dorky that Karai wants to laugh, and she does, more loudly than she's used to. Leo seems unfazed, and his eyes meet hers. "My father has the same stuff in our dojo. But we still practice with wooden ones."

Karai notices how Leo hasn't mentioned his mother at all, during the whole afternoon they have spent together, as if she doesn't exist. But, she gets it. It's like  _her_  mother doesn't exist as well. She hasn't the chance to think more about it, because a sudden noise startles them both.

"I'm done with this, Saki!" A stern voice says, or rather, yells, and Karai can feel Leo's trembling hand squeezing her arm, as if he is afraid she's going to disappear.

" _Yes_ , run again. Leave.  _Coward_." Her father spits venomously and the familiarity of his tone makes Karai wince in Leo's grasp. She isn't sure who's holding who.

In the next minute, Leo's father is out of their dojo office, beckoning Leo with his finger with an expression that looks stiff, fond and apologizing altogether. "Just a minute," Leo promises with a crooked smile and Splinter makes an approving sound, standing closer to the exit door, like he's giving them some privacy.

Karai realizes his hand is still glued on her arm and she shakes it, before leaving the tanto – her tanto, cautiously on the floor. Leo gets close till their faces are inches apart and Karai can study each missing tooth he has as he smiles. "I have to leave. But I'll see you again. Pinky promise," he swears and holds up his pinky that Karai reluctantly accepts.

"I  _did_  say you need to learn a fishtail braid too," she reassures him, or mostly herself. She knows Leo is coming to her school after the summer, can't help but feel happy that she's going to have a friend, but she's worried her father – he is going to have her homeschooled, doesn't look like he likes Leo, or his father. He's still a shadow in front of the glass of his office door as she looks at Leo.

But, Leo seems all too sure, like a five-hour playtime with her was enough for him to be more than certain. "I will see you again. Bye Karai," he waves through a lopsided grin and runs to his father in the corner.

"Bye Leo," she says when they have left, the bell of the door still ringing, and his name feels funnily comforting on her tongue.

She doesn't realize when her father has a hand on her shoulder, eyeing her quietly. Karai likes to think she's very grown up as she gazes him, eyes glazed with firmness.

But, he just stands still and says, voice thick, "Come,  _child_." He stretches each word.

Karai follows. She sinks in her bed, crying sobbingly, as her father explains why these people she has just met can't be trusted. She hates each word. She asks where her mother is.

His answer doesn't come in words, this time, and she falls on her pillow, finally breathing as her father is gone and the light has given its place to the dark. She's shivering.

Maybe she isn't as grown up as she would like (to think). But she is grown up enough to know when someone is lying.

And Leo and his father don't seem like liars to her.

She closes her eyes with the image of her making braids with Leonardo, and maybe his brothers too.

With the image of her being happy and father-free.

Fate seems not to know how to spell and confuse father and mother, though.

* * *

It takes a year for Karai's mother to finally have enough and leave like a thief in the night. Karai's eyes have black bags for the fourth time as she enters the school. She has decided she's not sleeping till her mother comes back.

Her father says she's never going to sleep again, if that's her decision. She takes the risk, for now.

Perhaps the risk is kind of overkill as she's ready to fall asleep on her desk in class, but her ten-year-old friend nudges her back to reality. "You should have stayed home," Leo half-scolds, half-coos her with soft hands running on her back that Karai leans in to, for a minute, before immediately returning back to her past pose.

She may risk sleeping in class, but she's not risking letting the teacher see them being all buddy-buddy and snitch it to her father.

They had formed a set of rules, back when they had just met and kept it until today with unflinching success. (Leo was trying to ruin their plan with his  _Touchy McFeely_  attitude, though.)

"I don't care what my father says," Karai had said with certainty in her eyes the first encounter they had during the rest of the summertime and Leo had swallowed with shifting eyes.

Karai had guessed his father had similar behavior. "We need to be careful," she had continued with a soft voice.

"How?"

"We are gonna make others think we  _fucking hate_  each other," her still nine-year-old, then, mouth had uttered and laughed with the way Leo's expression looked scandalized, either because she had been that intense, or because she had cursed.

"I'm not going to miss school because of this," Karai says now, eyes focused on the board of the class and Leo sighs heavily beside her. They have talked about her mother – about his mothers, before, very briefly, barely touching the subject, and now that her mother is gone, the subject is floating in the air more insistently, like a balloon hanging from a string, ready to pop anytime.

She scowls at him when he tries to smile at her and the teacher speaks in a serious manner, "Is there something wrong, Miss Oroku?"

"Leonardo is being annoying again, Miss," she sounds indifferent and whiny in the ears of the others, almost mean, twirling her pencil idly.

The teacher hums approvingly, and Leo has to cover his mouth to muffle, firstly, his laugh and secondly, his pain, as Karai kicks him under the desk.

Does he  _not_  know how to be discreet? "Idiot," she snaps friendly, far from being mean and Leo tosses her a cute simper.

It's in the storage room of the school cafeteria when Karai breaks down, crying, pressed between wrapped sandwiches and juice boxes.

Pressed on Leo's soft, boyish chest, who finds her and wastes no time, holding her in his arms, sinking with her on the floor.

Karai's clothes are wrinkled and filled with crumps, but she doesn't care as long as Leo continues to be there for her, keeps her in his embrace, when her parents couldn't.

They play thumb wars blindly, till Karai stops sobbing on his shoulder. Leo braids her hair, which is too long than she likes, and she wishes she could cut them now, to stop looking like her mother. She realizes Leo has learned to make a fishtail braid finally, and he confirms he has been practicing on his youngest brother's lengthy, curly hair. He talks about his brothers.

And when she's ready, when they're both ready, they talk about their parents.

Their mothers – the full stories – what made them love them and what made them hate them. The way they always smelled nice and how their hugs were so strong and cozy for them – and how much it hurt and made them cold when they didn't give them anymore.

They try to talk about their fathers, but it doesn't go smoothly. Their fathers are so different and yet, so similar it kind of scares them. They don't understand why they do what they do and really don't want to understand right now.

Besides, it's easier to keep playing and stealing juice boxes from the small fridge, than to convince each other that it isn't their faults.

* * *

It's much later when Karai realizes why her mother left. And why it was good for her mother to leave – why it should be done. She gets it and there's a weight off her. It gets replaced by a new one, quickly.

Because Karai, and not a lot of people believed that, didn't hold grudges, she always forgave her father way too easily (didn't know if that was good), but she can't just make herself forgive  _her_. If she wanted to, her mother, she could have taken her with her and not leave her here, with  _him_.

But, except him, it's also Leo here too, and he is here  _for_  her, so it isn't all that bad.

Maybe, it's even better like this.

* * *

It comes the day when Karai has to be by Leo's side too. He helped her, and stayed with her, and now it's time for her to be there for him.

They chat silently, art class has always been boring, backs turned because the teacher mustn't see them too close, faces nested in their pretty awful canvas.

Drawing is not their forte.

They continue to talk, till Karai realizes with furrowed brows that she's the one doing most of the talking. Usually, Leo doesn't tune out, especially when she talks about her very cool make-up YouTube tutorials, so it's odd for her.

She can't turn her head or body, and decides, instead, to kick backward, with the heel of her foot, Leo. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?" Karai has to admire how Leo plays innocent, his manipulation skills are getting better, thanks to her, of course, but he can't fool the master, Karai knows him like the bottom of her vanity case.

"You're being…weird. C'mon, what happened?" She presses, brushing a smudge on her canvas.

"Eh," he hesitates, sounding small in her ears, and Karai almost feels bad for being such a nag, but her twelve-year-old friend looks sad and confused and she's not taking that.

The teacher seems like she's not paying attention, lost in her phone on the desk, so Karai turns. She takes Leo's chin, who jumps in surprise, to turn his head and look at her. She stares as Leo's forehead wrinkles, furrowing his brows in what Karai guesses is an inner conflict, before leaning forward.

"I like someone," he whispers, like it's the most scandalizing thing it could happen, and Karai rolls her eyes in amusement, ignoring the insistent part of her mind which wishes silently  _she_  is that someone.

"That's the big deal? Woah, yeah, I can definitely see the problem here," she deadpans, voice dripping with sarcasm. Leo closes his eyes shut for a minute. "You don't – y – you won't understand."

She purses her lips and lifts his chin up with affectionate fingers, her eyes gazing his. "Try me," she says as a way of promise. Leo swallows hard, and doesn't speak immediately.

Karai waits patiently.

He presses his lips into a thin line, massaging his temples and running his hands through his hair, and his voice goes barely above a whisper as he says, "I – I like – a – a  _boy_."

Ah.

_Ah._

Her stomach drops and she doesn't have the chance to let her mind wander on it, since Leo's breath is quicker as he tries to turn his body back to the canvas, as if this is the first time he has told that to somebody, and Karai discovers with a sudden pang of realization and this  _is_  the first time he has told somebody, the first time he told it aloud, the first time he said it to  _himself_.

Karai has to act fast, so as not to lose touch with him, now that she just caught him. "Hey, hey,  _hey_ ," she frames his face in both hands, not caring how she looks to others, as long as the teacher keeps her nose in her phone and Leo continues to inhale with her, their breaths starting to synchronize.

"It's fine, hey, it's okay," her tone is urgent and she struggles to find the right words, her stomach still dropping. "It's  _okay_ ," she repeats, covering each emotion of stupefaction and unwanted and internalized judgment her face could have shown.

"It's not. It's wrong," he tells her firmly, already shaking his head, like he has rehearsed again and again in his head those words. " _I'm_  wrong," he chokes, "Kar _ai_ ,  _oh, what_  am I doing, I-"

She hugs him. In her own terms, behind the art supplies and canvas, before he falls apart, in front of her, and she knows she wouldn't be able to handle that.

Her heart is full and there's something stuck in her throat. And if she feels like this, she can't imagine how he feels. She knows he needs reassurance, more than ever, but, for the first time, she doesn't know what to say.

She has seen couples in school, together, she has spoken with women who like women, men who like men, the student body president has been trying for years (exaggeration to make a point) to make Pride lunches happen and she knows herself she's anything  _but_ , completely straight, if the Vogue magazine covers of very pretty women hanging on the wall of her room for  _not-only_  make-up purposes are any indication.

They are silent for far too long, and Karai, despite everything, can't seem to know what to say. But she's grown heavy and hot waiting, so she decides to break the silence and handle with grace her improvisation.

"You know it's all okay, right?" she asks again, wincing at the words, and Leo's eyes dip shamefully, like he's done something illegal, like all that he feels is plain abnormal. "Leo-"

"I don't know!" he exclaims with a hoarse, low voice, eyes pleading. "I don't know what I want, what I like, I'm – I – I don't even know my  _own_  feelings,  _ugh_ ," he rubs his hand on his face and groans, "Why am I  _like_  this?"

"You don't have to know, Leo," she starts stiffly and unsure, all of a sudden, Leo's name soft on her tongue. The bell won't be ringing for the next hour, art class is like their two-hour free period, and she's not in a hurry.

"Don't feel forced to label yourself," she continues, speaking as a matter-of-factly, her own questioning articles on the internet helping and Leo breathes hard against her face – they're close. "So, you like a guy, the big deal, Leo." He opens his mouth but Karai preempts him, tone fierce, "I  _know_  why you're worried and I  _get_  it, but you won't feel better if you don't just wrap your mind and admit the fact."

Leo looks on his knees, his face focused as if someone is reprimanding him and Karai stops a bit, her hands caressing Leo's as she speaks again, slower this time, voice low, soft and gentle altogether, "If you have consistent feelings, don't ignore them. Even if you can't label it, just – don't ignore it, okay? It's no use lying to yourself. And that's just now, the confusion doesn't last  _forever_. "

"I know it's, like,  _hell_ , now," she points out and Leo chuckles lightly under his breath, so she knows she is in the right way, "I promise you, it may take longer than you would like, but you will figure out who you are."

She barely hears it when Leo asks, voice timid and unusually high-pitched, shoulders hunched and eyes darting, biting his lip, "You don't think I'm, y'know,  _gross_?"

"If you think that, then I have failed you as a friend," she says with wide eyes, that familiar feeling of not being such a good friend as she should be twisting her stomach in painful and awkward angles. " _Of course not_. Don't even dare say such thing again," she hisses with ferocious worry and fond concern at the same time, vowing mentally to beat up anyone who would say something like that to her friend – only friend.

Leo looks up at her face, a smile teasing the edges of his lips and Karai can't help but give him a knowing smirk, adding with a promising gleam in her eyes, "That's why I'm here too. I'm glad you told me. Very glad," she soothes tenderly, before a thought crosses her mind and she blurts, "I could send you some articles, or something, about it."

Leo tilts his head at this, as if he didn't expect it, whether that means he didn't expect that she helped or he didn't expect she would have knowledge on these stuff – she isn't sure. "That'd be cool, actually. But, um, I don't have your nu-"

Karai hastily grabs a pen from her tripod, and catches Leo's arm, writing messily her phone number on it. "Here. Once you see a text from this number, know it's me. I'll text in Japanese, too, don't want brats who get involved in everything realizing what we're talking about," she adds with amusement glazed in her eyes and Leo deadpans.

"When you say brats who get involved in everything, you mean my brothers?"

"Yup," she confirms, snorting, "Still, I am very happy you told me."

She's here for him, at this thing, where Leo perhaps hasn't even talked to his father and brothers, and probably doesn't want to talk until he's sure.

The last words make Leo's curled lips break into a huge, rare grin. "You're the first to know," he says with a crooked smile, as if reading Karai's thoughts and she giggles.

"And I hope  _that_  guy is the second one," she jokes teasingly, with waggling eyebrows, nudging him with a paintbrush. "And if it doesn't work out, you'll find another guy. Or," she pauses mid-sentence, the Cheshire smile spread on her face, "a girl,  _if_  you like them."

Leo's eyes are bright and glittery as he runs them over Karai and tosses her an equally mocking smile that never fails to make her feel warm and funny inside, "Oh, still like them. A lot."

_What a colossal dork._

They turn to their canvas, because they've left their drawing in the middle and Karai is now realizing, with the corner of her eye, that Leo is drawing a boy with blonde hair and a pretty smile on his board.

It's a moment after when he speaks, hedging, "So – um, it's – it's normal?"

"Leo," her smile is too fond and she's happy he can't see it, and she thinks of the times Leo bombarded her with all the mumbo-jumbo sci-fi stuff he liked, "it's probably the most normal thing you've ever said.  _You're_  normal."

"You think so?" His voice breaks a little, and Karai takes a proud pose, talking with firmness and confidence to make up for his lack of one.

"I  _know_  so. Now, c'mon, tell me everything about him. Why do you like him?"

"What's  _not_  to like? Karai, he's-"

They stay like this, smiles on their faces for a long time, until their cheeks hurt and ache, Karai asking Leo questions about the, apparently, very sweet boy –  _Usagi_  – and him rambling about silly things about him, then laughing when Karai proposes a make-over to make him stand out for him.

She's happy he's happy. She's happy she's making him happy.

* * *

Leo discovers his identity, after some digging, finally identifying as bisexual, along with Karai, too, and she is full of joy because identity is important and so is  _he_.

They chuckle in the school cafeteria, figuring out funny ways for Leo to come out to his family, faces cold and glum when planning locations where Leo can go, if things don't go well.

They do go well, after a series of humorous and hilarious events, and Karai doesn't believe her father would have Leo's family's reaction. Things continue to go too well, till, of course, it happens and-

Usagi, he leaves,  _too_. It's not his fault or his decision, but it's like, the people they love, they go away from them, leaving them trembling with the aftermath, and Karai can't see how this is fair.

Leo bawls his eyes out in her shoulder, wetting her hair, holding her like a lifesaver, as if she can change what has happened. He wishes he hadn't talked to him, hadn't seen him, hadn't  _kissed_ him, but she pats his hair, whispering how brave how was, for figuring out a whole different trait of him, a scary and unsure one, and still is. And that it was worth it, no matter the result.

He blows his nose in her shirt emphatically and she laughs, pushing him playfully away.

* * *

They balance each other.

It takes a while for Karai to realize it, just how easily they've grown close and how easily  _he_  has grown close, to her heart, closer than Karai usually allows, and she's surprised.

Of course, she considered him a friend, but now, it seems like everything reminds her of him, the stupid Space Heroes commercials, the Harry Potter ComiCons that are held next to their dojo, the calligraphy classes at school breaks, the  _freaking_  bushes on the street that look like his hair-

It's like, she never tunes out from their conversations and it almost, as if he's not just her friend anymore, he's her  _best_  friend; and the words make her cringe and feel warm at the same time.

She pushes these heavy thoughts away now, pushing an equally heavy bottle of Japanese Lemon-lime soda towards fifteen-year-old Leo's side, "You can have mine," she says with a weary smile, still wrecked from her yesterday studies, the mental note of Leo's favorite drink shoved in her mind, just as deep as the pixie cut techniques for her new hairdo that she saves there.

Leo flutters his eyes, bowing teasingly in front of her, and takes the soda in his hand. " _Oh my_ , what a gentle offer," he rolls his eyes and takes a sip, a small smile tugging on his mouth.

Karai's eyes linger for a short moment on Leo's lips, before shaking her head mentally.  _What the?_  She looks around at the bunches of students messing around at the school cafeteria and she leans over, winking at Leo. "Only for members of my like-list."

Leo deadpans and presses a hand to his chest. "Gee, I'm honored to be in Oroku Karai's list of selected friends."

"Hah," Karai huffs a laugh, taking a hand full of her delicious corn pops in her mouth, "you should be grateful. Not a lot of people make the list," she adds, rather with a serious tone, and a full mouth that probably makes her look ridiculous, since Leo nods, shaking with laughter.

"I know that for sure," he remarks amusingly and Karai snorts, enjoying the way they joke with each other, but Leo doesn't let her live it for too long, as he tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "as I know there's a huge test coming up and you're eating corn pops."

Karai's posture falls into boredom and disappointment, her shoulders slumping. It's not that she doesn't like school or she doesn't go well. She's an excellent student, much to everyone's surprise, always happy to prove people wrong about her, but there are some classes she just can't stand.

If she wants to get a really high GPA score and earn her place to a college, though, much preferably away from her father, she'll have to deal with them.

"I read yesterday," she insists, as if the black bags under her eyes are not enough of an indication, her head still pounding from her cramming session last night, and the shouts and yells of children in the cafeteria. Karai swears she can see Leo's youngest brother, Michelangelo, dancing on a red table and pinches her eyes.

"With our system?" Leo asks, eyebrows furrowed, and Karai resists the urge to groan. She appreciates Leo's Herculean effort to make flash cards with helpful acronyms for each chapter they have to learn in History, which, she admits, are very useful, but she feels as if she's turning into a nerd like him. Just how much of an influence has he on her?

"Yes, with our ' _system'_ ," she assures him, eyes witty and a wry smile on her lips, taking a bite from her sandwich and another handful of corn pops.

"I don't believe you," he narrows his eyes, tone laced with certainty, and absurd, and it's too amusing that Karai can't help but reply to him with a matching inflection.

"You're a dork."

"What's that has to do with anything?" he exclaims, feeling obviously betrayed and insulted, without denying the comment though, and she leans back on her chair, laughing right at his face. It's pretty priceless.

"Nothing, I just felt the need to remind you," she snorts a laugh, but Leo's deadpanned look is very convincing and persuading, so she gives in with a sigh of fondness, "Look, ask me one question," she dares him, wanting to prove her hard work, but she doesn't like not making a bet as well, so she adds light-heartedly, "and if I say it correctly, then-"

"Then?" he wonders with what looks like actual curiosity wrinkling his forehead.

"Then…," she trails off, realizing she hasn't though through this enough, looking around. Her eyes fall on the walls of the school cafeteria, on a particular poster glowing against the red of the wall, and she speaks before she can process what she's saying, eyes not even looking at Leo, "I'm going with you to this year's  _prom_. As a date."

He widens his eyes, and they match her own widening eyes, that keep getting larger as the sentence she just uttered echoes back in her ears. Did she just-

"Are you – are you joking with me?" Leo stammers with fidgeting thumbs and suspicious eyes and Karai can't even blame him for that, he has every reason to be like this, " 'Cause, not that it would be bad, the going part, not the joking part, I mean, not that I want, well, I mean I do want, just not in – in the way – ugh, you serious?"

What kind of nerdy shit show was she watching? The fact that Leo had managed to acquire one boyfriend, technically three fleeting relationships and still had a hell of a big bunch of students following him with lovey-dovey eyes around the school was beyond her.

She looks at Leo's open and soft face, and stares for a while.

Well, okay, it wasn't beyond her.

Karai mentally slaps herself, but takes a deep breath and lets her chest out, appearing confident, as if this was her plan all along. "I was, now with your nerdy rambling I feel like I'm ruining my reputation with this decision but, whatever, I'll take the risk," she says casually, like she's talking about the weather and he fumbles with his words, before shaking intensively his head.

"Fine," he declares smugly, trying to seem as confident as her, "But, I'll give you a tricky one."

"Do your worst. Please," she says with a raising brow, and while it's familiar to her, they always playfully talk like that, a clenching feeling twists her stomach.

Leo shifts his eyes, and clears his throat, grabbing his back onto the counter and taking out a huge box that's the same with the one Karai has. She almost giggles, covering her mouth, with the fact that Leo carries his dorky flashcards with him. She sends him a small smirk, and her painful feeling in her stomach goes away as he answers with one of his own scornful, clumsy smile.

Huh, maybe her stomach was bothering her just because she is hungry, she muses, finishing the last bite of her sandwich. Or, her period is coming, she almost sighs irritatingly out loud. Her menstrual cycle is like the New York's buses schedule.

Leo takes a sip from his soda, swallowing down his own veggie burger, as he pulls out a flashcard from the box (who even thought of this idea? Leo's younger genius of a brother, Karai guesses) and reads out loud carefully, "Okay, 5 Key Causes of World War I."

She stops chugging on her corn pops, pressing her eyebrows together while also pressing her brain to remember the acronym they used for this, as Leo continues, unfazed, "World War I occurred between July 1914 and November 11, 1918. By the end of the war, over 17 million people had been killed, including over 100,000 American troops. While the causes of the war are infinitely more complicated than a simple timeline of events, they are still debated and discussed to this day."

He finishes and looks at her lost face.

She doesn't talk for a few minutes, till the answer flows in her mind in hurry and her eyes light up, "Ah! MINIM," she exclaims, dragging on her tongue the name of one of her favorite industrial rock bands and spells each letter. Leo's lips twist into something happy and proud, as she continues, " _M_ utual Defense Alliances _, I_ mperialism,  _N_ ationalism _, I_ mmediate Cause: Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdin and  _M_ ilitarism."

"Yes!" Leo screams, silently though, they're not about to draw attention at a place full of student gossipers, the thought of being the next cover of the school newspaper not that alluring. "You are  _so_  getting an A!"

He looks happy he helped her and she breaks into a very uncommon grin, holding her hands up and waving as if she's a princess – which, is not true, since she's the fucking queen. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, who won? I won!"

Leo's face scrunches. "..Wait. So this means-"

And Kara just tosses him a snarky smirk. "You just got yourself a date," she snarls in a soft, mocking purr and he chuckles, his lips curling at her jokey actions. " Y'know, friend date," she adds after a moment of laughter, just to clarify. "Better go as friends than alone."

"The  _horror_ ," Leo says, one hand pressed to his heart. Karai's face sinks into a deadpan, at the same time Leo starts laughing again.

"Idiot," she hisses too threateningly, and she must have looked very menacing, because a hand falls on her shoulder and she twitches in surprise as Leo stays still, motioning with his eyes behind her.

She turns her head and sees the familiar face of their Biology teacher, Mr. Laghari. She shakes her head disappointingly, "Miss Oroku, can you just  _not_  argue with Mr. Hamato during lunchtime, please?" she asks in a thick Indian accent, before leaving just as quietly as she appeared, leaving Karai expressionless on her seat.

How is it always  _her_  that gets notes, comments, and criticism from the teachers? She's obviously glad the whole school and their mothers think she and Leo absolutely despise each other, but it's like she's the only one receiving remarks from the teachers, damn. And Leo isn't really helping with the situation:

" _Yes_ ," he chimes in, voice all thick and rich like syrup, the way it only gets when he is really indisputably amused, a trait she rubbed off on him, " _Miss_  Oroku,  _plea_ se-"

Karai doesn't feel even a shred of guilt as she starts throwing unremittingly corn pops to his face.

"Hey,  _hey_ , do not attack  _me – AH!_  Hahaha," he mocks and grins broadly as he avoids each corn pop with the grace of a ballerina, already sing-songing, "miss me, miss me, now you have  _to ki_ …"

He falters, halting, realizing how the sentence ends and stutters, looking equal parts ashamed and mortified. And his face is all red, aww. Her friend is a geek charming.

Karai gets up, the break is ending soon, and she leans with one arm on the table, smiling at Leo's flushed expression, that clenching feeling back in her stomach, yet not as painful as before. "Save that for the prom."

* * *

She does get an A. In History, of all things, and she's ecstatic about it. She hangs the paper with the red perfect mark in her room, next to her Vogue cover magazines and Leo's cute objectively awful Space Heroes posters he had convinced her to buy.

The prom is too fuzzy for her, with bright colors and balloons she detests with a burning passion, with spiked drinks she's more than okay with,  _but_ , her brilliant mind chose Leo as a partner, and there's absolutely  _no way_  she's getting any alcohol today.

He tries to make room for her in their group, but she's too awkward in front of Leo's brothers and their friends, so awkward that she just seems intimidating.

She doesn't think they like her. Their friends are quiet in front of her, and Leo's brothers look at her, especially the tall one with the glasses and the very short one with the buffy arms, like she's just got out of prison on parole.

She's not surprised. But, when April offers her her mascara once she realizes it's not in her purse, when Michelangelo tries to teach her some cool dance moves since she can't dance to save her life, when Leo drags her by the arm on the floor and attempts to slow dance with her, leading her with his moves, his hands, his eyes and his smile, she realizes that prom was the best decision she could have done.

It's over too quickly, and it's not even midnight yet, so Leo sneaks her into his house, up in his bedroom, and they watch reruns of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend together, since, apparently, Leo is heads over heels in love with Rachel Bloom  _and_  Santino Fontana, the struggles of a bisexual, and she takes off her stupid heels, moving her legs closer to Leo.

She laughs once Leo starts singing childishly along to the corny songs, because Leo really shouldn't look that adorable singing about giving someone a UTI, but he does and her heart tightens.

* * *

"You know," Leo starts and Karai braces herself because she already knows where this is going, "this is probably a bad idea. A terrible one. This is perhaps the worst idea of the century," he whispers fervently and she is  _this_  close to bang her head on the doorknob.

"Even Mikey would stop us and be like ' _Dudes, no, bad idea here'_ ," he does a somewhat poor, high pitched version of a surfer and skateboarder voice impression and Karai has to bit back a laugh, because she's not about to make any noise. Not now. "Have I mentioned this is like, a bad idea?"

She finally snaps and looks at him from where she's kneeling. "Can't you just stop? You're overreacting," she adds conversationally and smiles at the fumbling volcano of a goody-Leo that's erupting in front of her.

"Over – overreacting?  _Overreacting_! Do you know we could get caught? We'll be in detention for  _decades_!"

"Relax, you don't need to worry," she continues to work, picking the lock with her two hairpins. And they said Shinigami was a bad influence. Pfft. "I'll protect you," she promises without batting an eye and adds with a simper, voice low, "Besides, I've done this before."

"Jesus," he blurts and Karai can imagine his pupils dilating, not even needing to turn to see him, "I'm hanging out with a criminal."

" _Y'see_ , I prefer the word 'rebel' since-"

" _Karai_!" His voice breaks in a  _'I cannot literally believe you right now'_  tone, which seemed to be very common around these weeks. It was finals after all.

"Hey," she works harder with the hairpins, already regretting her decision to help him, with, perhaps, sinful ways, " _you're_  the one who didn't want to fail that upcoming chemistry test," she reminds him, turning to point an accusing finger at Leo's chest, that sort of ends up pointing his crotch.

Karai looks up with hazy eyes, throwing him a wink, trying to light up the mood, and Leo pushes her hands away from him in a drama queen-like manner. "That didn't mean I wanted  _us_  to steal the answers!" he shouts whisperingly, folding his arms over his chest protectively.

"You said it with your eyes…"she drools on, a smile on her face once she feels feel like she's dealt with all of the pins, puts more pressure on the lever and-

" _Uh, n_ o-"

"Done!" she announces as the door flies open. She turns her face to Leo, eyeing him with teasing eyes, "Now, let's see, are you gonna stay outside and pout, failing Chem, or are you gonna come with me to the evil side?"

Leo sighs, moving through the door she has swung open. "My brothers will disown me."

"That's my boy!"

"Woah," Leo wrinkles his nose in disgust, looking around the room which looked dusty and remote, as if not even a soul had been here, "these places are creepy."

"I know, right?" she muses with raising eyebrows, already shuffling around the drawers, "Who uses a monocle? Ah," she lifts up a folder, smirking, "there they are." She pushes herself up, moving to the photocopy machine, before hearing Leo groan behind her.

"We're just risking our As here, do you understand that?" he says, warningly, having a harder and harder time controlling his voice. She just presses the machine's button, and turns to him, sighing.

"No,  _I'm_  risking my As, you, as a good boy's scout will probably get away with a reprimand, which," she observes before Leo can have a hissy fit, "is unlikely, since we're  _not_  getting caught."

Leo looks around suspiciously, as if he's wondering someone is going to pop in and drag them to the honor-less dungeon. "If you're risking, why are you doing this?"

"Cause, you helped me get an A in History and taught me how to slow dance without practically bruising people's feet, so the least I can do is to help you pass Chemistry."

And Leo just hums a bit, looking partly pleased, but his face is still dead serious as he asks, "And studying wouldn't be possible?"

"Oh, it'd be possible," she admits, "Just not as much fun as this." She takes the fresh new papers from the machine, and puts everything in place as accurately as possible, before tugging Leo out of the teacher's office with excitement, "We're out of here."

"Phew," Leo sighs in relief once they're outside and Karai nudges him, and isn't sure if she wanted to, since the adrenaline plays with her system and actions. "How do you feel, committing your first crime?"

"Like vomiting," he lies hotly, his ears ringing and a cold sweat breaking out on his brow.

"Not on me, these are ugg boots," she huffs a laugh, twirling one clump of longer hair with her fingers, trying to act like a typical, bubblegum-American type of girl and Leo gives her a tiny shove, slumping forward and putting one hand on his knee.

"Don't worry," he says as he kneels down to tie his shoelaces, which are already… tied? She frowns, but the realization hits her once he starts speaking again, "Hey,  _hypothetically speaking_ , could I come over by your house tonight?"

She recognizes the tone and understands he's probably playing with his lace as an excuse not to look at her when he speaks. She just lands a soft hand on his back. "But, I thought I was coming to yours," her voice is as casual as she can be, smoothly reminding him of the plan to memorize the answers together at his house.

"Yeah, but, I really don't want to see my father, not yet," he says awkwardly, standing up and playing with the zipper of his leather jacket – …leather jacket…? How had she not noticed him wearing it? It looked good on him. It actually looked pretty ho-

"Well, okay," she smiles, already walking briskly towards the stairs and he follows with warm eyes, "Hypothetically speaking, I would accept."

Leo blinks in surprise, and then smiles too. "Yeah?"

"Sure," they start walking down the stairs and she cautiously puts the answers of the test in her bag. She gazes him, and just arches an eyebrow at him sardonically, "my house is  _hypothetically_ empty today."

"You can stop saying hypothetically now," she barely even hears him, as he bursts into laughter.

"Nah, I like the feel of it, hypothetically, hypothetically, hypothetically…," she chants, his own laugh proving to be contagious as she starts to snicker through her nose, along with him, around the hallways till the reach the school's exit.

* * *

They hang out in Karai's cool bedroom later, memorizing the answers for the Chemistry test while listening to rock music from their shared ear buds, till Leo is ready to talk to her.

They've learned to give each other the space and time they need and Karai's heart moves with the way Leo's eyes are focused, not shifting and darting, fingers steady and not fidgeting like they would back then.

He trusts her with his worries, (she never had anyone to trust her!)she thinks, as Leo rants, explains to her how he and his father had a fight for the tenth time this week, how unfair he's being, and how he's not the  _kid_  he thinks he is, not letting him take decisions of his own, then cries, rambling that he's just ungrateful, not appreciating his father enough, after all.

He trusts her with his whole soul, she thinks, as Leo's head stays still on her thigh, hands wrapped around her waist, respiring lowly till he's slightly snoring, his breath heating up her upper legs.

She just rubs his reclining back in slow, awkward circles, wondering how she was  _that_  wrong.

Leo wasn't only her best friend. He was so much more, meant so much more, and the realization makes Karai wonder if there is proof make-up to prevent these feelings, frightens her as much as Leo's soft hair tickles her knees and the insides of her heart.

_Damn_  it. She's in love.

* * *

They fight. And it's not like other times.

She doesn't even remember what the fight is about, which is perhaps one of the worst things; she guesses it was something about their fathers. No, she's sure of it.

It's ugly and nasty. They always have arguments, but actual fights? She's not used to it and definitely doesn't want to be. She bits the pillow that has pressed on her face to fight back the tears. Everything comes back to her easily.

They're at the hallway, yelling and throwing books from their lockers.

The students around stare for a while, but go away as fast as they appear. It's not unusual for them. The whole school has seen the fight possibly more than a hundred times. But those fights; they were fake and meaningless, silly stuff they came up with to throw the others off, or stupid things they teased about and others took seriously.

But this fight; it feels so real and it wrecks Karai, rattles her to the bones. Her whole face is hot in fury and her eyes are glazy and burning. She tries to blink the crippling tears away and in the process, she sees through the blurriness familiar figures.

Shinigami with wide eyes next to the mirror of her locker, April covering her mouth and that lanky, tall, smart guy with the glasses pressing a hand on her shoulder, another guy, very similar, vibrating next to him, Casey Jones seeming ready to grab a can of pop corns, and that bulky guy, now with braces, looking at her like he could rip her apart with his teeth-

Leo is trembling in front of her and she shouts, "You don't listen, you  _never_  listen, Leo! You  _cannot_  stand like this and watch as your world falls apart! Do something,  _dammit_!"

She doesn't know what to expect, she thinks Leo would yell and run away, slamming his locker. She might know happy Leo, sad Leo, but, she doesn't know angry Leo.

He looks like he takes a step back, his eyes darting around the bunches of students that have decided to stay and entertain themselves with their private lives. Maybe they shouldn't be doing this in front of them. His eyes finally focus on her and he squints them.

"Oh," he whispers, loud enough for everyone to hear, "how can you be such a hypocrite? Is that what you do? Is it?" he is way too careful and slow with his words, like he's choosing what passes through his mouth and Karai's hands tighten in fists.

How can he be so calm when they're talking about something that important? And Karai, now, stuffed in her bed, remembers what the fight was about, Leo's father, what he's doing to him, as if he's a puppet.

And how much she wants to help her (more-than)friend; who looks like he could faint in any minute.

The Karai after the fight muses how wrong was the timing of the fight, how it should  _stop_.

The Karai during the fight doesn't even consider this. She snaps, breathing through her nose, running her hand through her hair, a trait rubbed off on her by Leo, her voice fierce, Leo's calmness during a fight a trait that has not been rubbed off on her, " _Yes_ ,  _yes_ , it is! I take my own decisions, I have my  _own_  life and my own choices, I don't allow people to just butt in my life, I'm not a  _sheep_  like-"

She doesn't know how she planned to finish that sentence, and hasn't the chance to think, because Leo interrupts her, his tone on this matter as if it has been rehearsed a million times before, "Like  _me_? This is what you want to say? Then just say it, Karai, don't beat around the bush," he shuts his eyes tight close for a moment, pressing a hand on his chest, and Karai is for a minute alert, almost raises her hand, as if to reach him, because if this another panic atta-

Leo holds up his hand. And when he opens his eyes again, they are the coldest blue she has ever seen. "But, I'm not a sheep," he retorts, his voice raspier like his throat is starting to close, "you cannot understand."

Karai looks around, and hates the look every student is giving them. She tries to inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, but her ears are ringing, as she yells, pushing her locker hard with her elbow, "Understand what? The fact that you feel guilty and push yourself to revolve your life around someone?" She huffs, as if this is the most unbelievable thing she has ever heard and catches with her eyes Leo's brothers staring at him plainly, staring at her like she's talking shit.

Leo gapes at her as she shakes her head with pained intensity, "I'd never accept that!"

Leo looks too pale, holding onto his bag like a lifesaver and Karai thinks how it should be her next to him to hold. She doesn't know why she's continuing with this. It's the worst she could do in this situation. She wants it to stop.

But he suddenly smiles weakly, laughing creakingly and she hitches, words of apology glued on her tongue, "Oh, so just because you defend yourself in front of  _him_ , that means you're okay?"

They don't use names and for that she's grateful. She furrows her eyebrows, taking a step closer to him, "What do you mean?"

Leo takes a step as well, too many, till he's right in her face, so close she almost loses sight of him, pretty murky in front of her, and she knows this is the most terrible moment, but she can't help but linger her eyes from above on his tired eyes, his crinkled nose,  _his lips_ , just for the shortest of moments, and wishes immediately to sink in the ground as some boys from around whistle juvenilely.

Her face is heating and she doesn't know if it's because of this, or because Leo's next, unfazed, hard words are like a crisp slap on her face.

"Cause I just happen to know you still revolve your life around  _her_. Get over it, Karai! You think you have, but-"

She  _screams_. Literally. She screams, pressing her nose on Leo's nose, foreheads smashed, because he is  _so_  right and she is  _so_  mad that he knows how to strike her nerve, just as well as her. He's learned from the best.

"Enough!" she bellows and he pushes her away from where she's pressed to him, breathing as if he's gasping for air. She won't fucking cry over her mother right now, in front of everybody in the hallway, she is not sensitive – she is  _not_.

His face is unreadable, even to her, as he says, "How does it feel like, now, Karai?"

She nearly regrets the way her eyes lingered on his lips before. "You know what,  _fuck_  this." Her tone is cold as she turns around and leaves, budging through the crowd they've gained, which looks lost.

"Karai. Karai!  _Karai_!"

But she ignores him, walking faster, hating the way her voice breaks, "Stop  _saying_  my name!" She feels a hand on her arm, and realizes it's Shinigami's from the lingerie glove, but she shakes it off, not even looking at her.

She does look once, before she leaves entirely, back at the center of the crowd again, where Leo can be spotted, half-fainted on the lockers and his brothers and friends above him, faces full of concern.

She turns her head back, the urge to run to him too strong, but she swallows it just like the lump in her throat.

She's in her bed now, sobbing on the pillow like she's nine again, like she's a  _child_ , so damn sensitive, always wishing to be covered in a thick layer of  _'I don't give a fuck'_ , only when, she does, and she hopes this is all a dream, a bad dream.

Because it's only in her dreams where she loses  _him_.

* * *

Weeks later and the nightmare continues.

At first, she doesn't notice it. She's too focused on wrapping her mind around the fact that the faint figure of her mother is still somewhere around her brain, somehow haunting her. Until, she sees it.

They have distanced themselves.

It's hard to realize it, with the persistent matter of her mother, her father's comments, but, after that fight, they haven't talk. And they don't talk – for weeks.

It's so weird to not to be with any kind of contact with him. In school, they barely see each other, she's not sure how they manage that, with almost every class they have together, but their eyes do not meet, not in the classrooms, not in the hallway, not in the cafeteria – nowhere.

So, it doesn't feel right to send him messages, to call him. She walks down the street and an extraordinary graffiti of a majestic dragon catches her attention. And it's only after when she has her phone camera out, once she realizes she  _can't_  send it to Leo. Damn it,  _he'd love_  that dragon.

Karai is surprised with herself, she never expected that she'd need someone so much, that she would desire to be next to him, involuntary, but there she is, begging herself to swallow that stupid pride, pick up the phone and give Leo a call, begging mentally Leo to call her right now.

It doesn't work.

She doesn't believe it could be worse, but her father is at the door of her room, pounding it and Karai doesn't even make a move to get up from the bed. When did he  _care_? And she's right, because it seems that he's not here for her, but, he's here to leave a stupid letter under the door.

It's her mother's.

* * *

The sky is grey and foggy, the possibility of rain floating in the air, and yet, she sits on a cold bench, with ripped jeans and probably the lightest jacket she has.

Who does her mother think she is? Disappearing for years, and then send a letter, to what? To check up on things? Ask her how she's going?  _'I miss you sweetie'_ , the words of her letter make her want to scream and start pulling her hair.  _'It was wrong of me'_ , yes, it was,  _damn right_  it was!

She feels as if her insides are collapsing and all the words are trapped in her throat, wanting to come out. Oh, how easier it'd be if her friend was here, hold her, tuck the locks of her hair behind her ears and whisper to her that it's all going to be okay.

But, she destroyed that too. She hurt him the way she hurts everybody first, before they can hurt  _her_. Leo, though, bruised from her harsh words, he still managed to get right into her and say the truth her heart couldn't speak.

She hated to admit that her mother was an issue she hadn't got over yet. But, just because she understood  _why_  she left, that doesn't make it okay, right?

She wraps her hands around herself, as claps of thunders bang in the distance, or maybe exactly above her – she isn't sure. She can't hear right, it's like she's underwater, all the noise drowning in her ears. Prickles of rain run on her face, barely there, watering her dried cheeks, while the skies open and lightings fill the view.

She breathes through her nose. Most of the people leave in a rush, before the raindrops give their place to a downpour, but she doesn't even get up, adamant to stay on the bench and create her own personal muddy puddle around her. She deserves it after all the shits she has fucked up.

The puffer jacket that falls slightly on her shoulders is as barely distinguishable as the small voice that tickles her ear, "I'm sorry." She whips her head so hard it hurts, startled, because, shit, he always was so much stealthier than her, and his eyes in the pitch black of the street are bright.

_Leo_.

"Leo?" His name feels strange on her tongue, it's been a while since she's spoken it out loud, for weeks, she had just been replaying it on her mind. She wants to ask him so much, how he found out where she was, why is he talking to her, after all, that happened, but, the only thing that seems to come out of her open mouth is: "Why you're sorry?"

Leo, right behind her, rubs her shoulder and Karai wonders why he doesn't sit on the bench. But, with the way he runs his hand through his hair, which is wet and messy, and with the way his pants and jacket stick onto him uncomfortably, she understands he probably doesn't want to ruin his situation more.

He ducks his head, as if that is going to help with the rain and stares at her with a look that she can't translate; just weeks they've been apart and she has already forgotten  _him_? "You didn't think I would be sorry?"

Karai wants to laugh at, practically no one, and she does, loudly, "Why the hell would  _you_  be sorry? For telling me the truth?  _I'm_  the one who started yelling at you in the middle of the hallway till you fainted!" she rants through runny words and Leo bits his lip, chuckling lightly. It makes Karai even madder. "What – why are you laughing?  _Leo_!"

Her sixteen-year-old…  _friend_  smiles sheepishly and holds up his hand, "Okay, firstly, I didn't faint, well,  _completely_ , it was a slight  _malaise_ ," he tilts his head as she snorts, "secondly, I'm happy you spoke to me like that, I needed to hear something like this, it was – it was  _enlightening_. Not that I'm going to talk to  _him_ , yet, but still."

Her lips curl and she feels the raindrops edging in her mouth. It's getting stronger. Leo sighs, heating up the watery sides of her neck, "But – um," he hesitates, apprehensive fingers catching her chin and turning her head to him, "I'm sorry about – about your mother. I heard, from, well, Shini, and Karai," he stammers, rubbing his other hand on his face, " _god_ , you do not deserve that, I know it's-"

But it's like she has stopped listening – her breathing getting shallow, rapid and her head canting to the side like it is full of water and Karai is getting dizzy trying to hold it up. Leo's eyes are looking for her in her face, but she's already lost – and doesn't realize it when she gets up.

And runs away across the slippery street.

Swift footsteps behind her propel Karai into a run – and she's familiar with it, that's the only thing she's familiar with, because she can't speak about her mother, she just  _can't_. "Leave me alone! Fucking leave me alone now!" she shouts back.

" _What_? Karai, come on, this isn't new, we've talked before – what the  _hell? Karai_!" his breathing is coming and going in pants behind her and she can hear it – or is it her breath that beats in her ears?

It makes her run faster, till she's on a pavement rather on the street, but she stumbles on something, her boot sticks on it, and she starts falling, her head rotating, the whole world freaking swirling – she's gonna meet the ground with her face, she's gonna fall – she  _almost_  falls-

But – strong hands are spinning her bodily around, clutching her shoulders so hard it  _should_  hurt. She blinks slowly, until she realizes the world is not going round anymore as she lifts her head from where it's pressed on Leo's shoulder.

Karai's head swims, and for some reason, Leo's words are all running and blurring together like watercolors, it's perhaps because the rainfall is so much heavier right now, plummeting on both of them, as he says softly, " _Hey_ , you okay, buddy?"

His tone, so affectionate, she imagines that is how he talks to his brothers, whom he  _loves_ , and the fact that he doesn't even ask why she's acting like the shittiest brat, not that she'd knew how to answer, makes want to ramble and she starts to stutter through the rain, "I don't know, I do not  _know_ , Leo," she snaps sternly, "I don't want – I can't have you think I'm a  _child_ , I can't talk, don't need my mother, I don't, I don't, I  _don't_!"

She's not afraid, she's not scared, she's-

He hugs her, his arms like a shield around her, blocking the hard rain, and then, he pushes their faces together with a hand cupped around the back of her head, whispering soothingly, "Of  _course_ you don't. You're  _so_  strong, Karai. One of the strongest people I know – and I mean that."

Karai sighs, as if all the water that falls from the skies is being collected in his lungs and she hates the way her voice sounds small, as she says, "You think so?"

And Leo smiles, repeating  _her_  own words as he tells her with feeling, tone firm, "I  _know_  so." She breaks into a smile and gets up from the kneeled position she is, her ripped jeans squelchy.

He gets up, too, that silly smile of his adorning his face and she swallows. "So, we're good? Friends?" she asks, just to be sure and Leo shakes her head, laughing slightly in the coldness of the rain, "Hell yeah."

The curse that flies through his mouth is so unusual it makes Karai chuckle, and she takes a step forward, but her boot finds the dip of the pavement from before, and she trips, falling right in Leo's arms, foreheads pressed, their lips close, noses touching –  _their lips close – !_

Karai gazes at him, eyes glazed with fearful anticipation, "Or not."

Leo's hand, wrapped around her waist, is motionless. "What?"

"Maybe we shouldn't be  _friends_ ," she presses and surprises herself, stretching each word and observing Leo's face, which turns from twisted confusion, to adorably scrunched realization, and he shifts his eyes around, giggling nervously, "Um,  _uh_."

Karai thinks momentarily that she has to take over here, because a fumbling Leo might be cute, obviously, but right now is sort of useless – but, Leo's eyes drill into hers as he hums.

And Karai's breath, hot and sharp, wet from the foggy rain, gets stuck in her nose when he presses his lips against hers.

He kisses her. And kisses her.  _And kisses her_. And she kisses back.

Easily, thoughtlessly and endlessly, as if the whole world around them has suddenly stopped to move, waiting for them kindly, as they stay under the lights of the city, lips, and breaths mingling into something they have yet to figure out, raindrops falling hard on their faces, again and again, and again, till the rain is too powerful and Leo ceases the kiss to catch Karai's wrist, ever so gently, and tug her along under a striped tent.

She feels faint and overwhelmed when Leo brushes his lips along her wet cheeks, kissing the raindrops away, which might as well have been tears.

"Karai," he says, reaching for her hand and she softens for him, tangling their fingers together comfortably. His face is open and soft when he starts, "I-"

But, Karai doesn't give him the chance to say it, because she always  _knew_ , and she doesn't even have the need to hear it – since it's always been  _her_  that couldn't articulate a word and-

And she takes  _her_  chance, now, before it's too late, because she's not  _a kid_  anymore, running away, and she frames his face in both hands, kissing the things she can't say, knowing he'll discover them, at the edges of her lips, hanging for him.

They're not each other's first kiss – but it's  _their_  first kiss, and it's slow and awkward, yet flawless, really something.

It's fearless.

* * *

Years pass and they are changed. They are broken in some ways, sharp edges that force them to hurt each other, sometimes.

They are strong, though. Made of fragile love that was shaped into something tough and untouchable-

_They_  are untouchable. They are not children, anymore, they think, holding onto things they don't exist, wishing they could erase and fix things that even now invade in their hearts, misunderstanding what they could explain simply back then, not daring to forgive or forgiving more easily than they should-

No. Now, they don't crave this. They hold each other, fixing themselves.

And with the way they clutch each other's hand, hearts full of pure love and juvenile adoration – maybe,  _maybe_ , they are still  _children_.

And the word doesn't make them wince anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, … *softly* I love them so much.
> 
> This got way longer than I wanted, too. And I still feel I didn't do them justice -_- I don't think it's good sitting till 5AM writing on a computer; my eyes are already ruined, though, so they're not in danger, at least :D
> 
> I wanna hope these big one-shots don't make you bored, 'cause that's the last thing I want :) But, they're getting big, since my writing when it comes to Leo and Karai is super self-indulgent, so much that, while I was writing this, I had to get up and walk away from my word document at least seven times. XD
> 
> Can't wait to hear your comments!


	3. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of slow and nothing special, pretty dull, but I really wanted/needed to write it. I make myself sad.
> 
> Comments are welcome and highly appreciated! :)

_My love, how is it possible to escape from each other?_  
How do you expect us to change a sky?  
Now that we are similar to twin round moons  
that stay up late with the same soft sigh

* * *

Secrets

* * *

Karai likes to think she knows him.  _Well_.

It shouldn't be hard after all; Leonardo is like an open book, full of apparent emotions, which are drawn clear and nice on his boyish features. She knows him, but – it's almost as if Karai can understand him all too easily.

And it's somewhere there when it hits her; he  _wants_  her to understand him. She realizes that all the little things she has picked up, the sudden expressions flashing on his face, his actions, fleeting clues – these things are traits he has allowed  _himself_  to showcase – and  _her_  to observe.

She should have figured out earlier, he  _is_  a ninja after all, and a damn good one, apparently.

The  _real_  Leonardo – no, she hasn't had the chance to meet him, yet. She'd like to – but, maybe, the feeling's mutual for him, too.

It's barely as if she can see a gleam of it – of the real Leo – when he leans in her ear, while she's wrapped around a blanket and carefully placed on the cold floor, which isn't so cold anymore, and whispers, "Can I tell you a secret?" There is an odd, little smile playing on his lips, and Karai can't help but snort.

"Huh?"

"A secret," his smile widens playfully, perhaps stretches in a strange way that Karai cannot exactly comprehend, and she narrows his eyes at him, her mouth crooked. "Is this going to be one of those cheesy scenes in movies? 'Cause I'm not really up for that now," she offers dryly.

Leo first deadpans, then shakes his head in amusement. "Look," he presses unconcerned by her lack of enthusiasm, motioning his head to the center of the…  _living room_ , if Karai can call it that.

She follows his movements and as her eyes set on the spectacle in front of her, she isn't sure how she's supposed to react.

It's a huge chaos; Michelangelo has created something like a castle –  _a fort_  – made of piles of the blankets Raphael had gracefully stolen from April's place. For  _her_. And that shouldn't sound so weird for the turtle in orange, but there's an almost identical fort, one occupied by Donatello, who wears a much lighter blanket as a cape around him with haughty importance.

Raphael is lying on the floor, looking like an overdramatic Romeo as he screams towards Michelangelo's side, " _Avenge me!_ "

Karai can literally feel Leo's arm brushing up against her in that oddly infuriating yet comforting manner, which drives her mad and twists her stomach. He's practically shaking with laughter and Karai is close to joining him with soft chuckles till a stern voice reaches her and her eyes go wide.

"We will not fall!" Splinter is standing, proud and tall as always, besides Donatello and with the way even his whiskers giggle, she steadily wraps her mind around the fact that he –  _her father_ \- he is taking part in the part in the game, as well.

And that's enough to make her burst into laughter, truly and genuinely amused, Michelangelo's battle cries, or more accurately incoherent rambling, still ringing in her ears.

" _I'M A MACHINE OF DESTRUCTION, I FEAR NO THREAT_  – except if Sensei bans my permission in the kitchen, then I'm giving you my flag!"

" _Dude_!"

"S _aw_ rry  _Raphie_ , I have priorities,  _okay_?"

Once Karai's finally done laughing, her eyes settling on Leo, a bit wet, he reaches closer to her, swiping the tears – happy tears! – away with fingers so gruff yet so gentle that they make Karai's insides squirm pleasantly.

His effect on her isn't that perceptible as a smirk makes its way on her lips, tugging her mouth, but Leo's faint pink flush against his forest green cheeks doesn't go unnoticed – it  _never_  did.

He clears his throat uncomfortable when she doesn't talk, before pressing his lips into a thin line, eyes looking around the mess in the living room and then, shifting on her face.

His eyes are serious, words picked carefully. "If I lost one of them, I wouldn't know what to do," he says, as a way of revealing his secret. Karai shivers at his tone, moving warily in her blanket.

The hand that was before on her face is now resting on her palm, these same fingers caressing the back of her hand.

She forces her eyes to leave their hands and stare into his. They light up in ways Karai has never seen them before as something shines on his face, something truthful and instinctively Leo-like. It's sort of as if she finally gets to meet him and know him, because he  _trusts_  her.

"I think… I think I'd die," he says decisively and swallows hard, barely audible that she almost misses it, but she doesn't – and her eyes catch his in a rush, a silent, confusing yet soothing compromise passing between them, making Karai feel warm in her blanket.

The rigid look in his eyes and his steady voice, laced with selfless truth, so opposite from the optimistic light that usually adorns Leo so often – they make Karai's heart pound like she's been sparring for hours.

It's barely a flicker – Leonardo is still what she'd call expressionless; when he wants to, he can pull up the same best incomprehensible façade she can and it annoys her so much, as if the all mighty Fearless Leader shouldn't display his feelings, but then again, she has the same view (Were they really that broken?) – but she sees  _it_.

The positive Leo she's used to – he's cute. But  _this_  Leo – he looks  _real_.

Yes. She is meeting him and she wants to know  _him_. She wants him to know  _her_ , too, she thinks.

But, Leo is suddenly all enthusiasm and bright eyes as he gets up and offers a hand that she'd usually reluctantly deny, but now accepts gradually surely. Once she's out of her blanket cocoon, he grins easily at her and cracks softly his knuckles, "Let's help these poor guys," he says, nodding his head to the living room again and Karai rolls her eyes at the ridiculously dorky sight of him.

"Wow," she comments, in a way to participate in his nerdiness, "your knuckles are quiet," she adds, too, voice dripping with sarcasm as Leo grabs her wrist.

"They're polite," he shrugs amusingly, then tosses her another wide grin, "but not for long…"

The silliness in his tone as his voice trails off and he jumps in the common room makes it so easy for her to follow him and fall in the declared blanket war. And they don't even bat an eye.

They accept her all too gladly and easily, laughing hard when she throws a pillow, very on point, on Donatello's face, laughing even harder when Donatello returns the favor with an equally well-thrown folded blanket, that sends her accidentally on the floor and maybe a bit deliberately in Leo's arms.

She could get used to this, she muses.

The crave for vengeance is still thrumming in her stomach, but it's slightly less insistent, doesn't echo in her ears anymore.

She decides she could probably live here for a little longer – spend time with her true father, make amends with her younger brothers, get to know the  _real_  Leonardo, possibly have him share some of his other secrets, and perhaps she could share some, too.  _Maybe_.

And that's how she stays.

* * *

And she stays, and stays,  _and stays_ , stays right by their side when everything goes down, then up again, then back down in high speed, till they're all swirling, heads spinning as they  _still_  stay together – at space this time.

And it's scary sometimes, how secrets come out and float in the air before taking the shape of a real form.

It's scary, because when she said she wanted to get to know  _him_ , she didn't mean that.

* * *

"So, it isn't, like, permanent?" Mikey's question makes Karai jump from where she is and looks into his wide eyes.

The spaceship is too quiet, almost silent, except the regular beeping noises on the control board as Fugitoid toils around, the soft snoring sounds of April and Casey, pressed together on the couch, the inaudibly heated conversation going back and forth between Donatello and Raphael next to them.

Karai adjusts a bit her position on the hard couch and forces a smile to Michelangelo's direction, once again grabbing her tools and working on his arm. "Nope," she says and Mikey nods his head, without the enthusiasm she's used to from him.

"That's really cool," he agrees, swallowing and it sends unforgiving pangs in her stomach.

It's too unfair, too fresh and prickling; they did not deserve this. Hardships, they've faced, sure – but this; It's like the universe is against them, fighting them with every little bit of it.

And she fights to hide it, too, with every part of her. Wrecked, but she won't break – not here, not now. She's strong.

For some – it's not the same.

"Well," Donatello's voice is louder next to them, the trickling desperation and worry not able to be erased from his tone, "I didn't think it was healthy, but it was at least logical."

Raph's sigh is just as concerned, and it makes Karai want to keep her eyes on her youngest brother's arm for – forever. "I thought you didn't want  _him_  to talk to the  _hologram_  thing."

Her breath hitches easily, but doesn't draw attention. She doubts what Raphael explains is completely correct but Donatello doesn't say something. "I didn't," he says instead, appearing defending, "but can't you see him now?"

And Karai winces, because yes – she can see him and sense him and feel the realness of his empty pain – it crashes her. It's what presses her want to stay strong. For the both of them – for all of them.

She doesn't mind, she embraces the tightening pain – pain of absence – pain of hide and seek. She's used to being strong – to pretending to be strong.

" _Can I_?" Raph exclaims fervently and Karai feels Mikey's arm trembling in her grasp. She squeezes it. "No, if he doesn't go out of his  _freaking_  room!" he continues and Donnie's choking noise of agreement makes Karai's eyes go wide, convinces her to turn her head and look at them.

"That's what I am saying!" It's amazing how Donnie's pleading stare matches to easily with Raph's, as if they're twins, distressed and unsure in unison, "He doesn't sleep, he doesn't shower, he doesn't eat – it's like he's – he's-"

"Dead," she finishes for them and feels the realization along with a sudden tremor creeping up across her body.

They stare at her – gazes of filching acceptance, and Mikey breathes harder behind her.

To save them, Leonardo would die – and if he couldn't save them, he'd still die.

It was a vicious circle, a drilling promise beating a tattoo in Leonardo's heart and tearing him apart from inside – it was a secret. A low secret he knew, a secret  _she_  knew. A secret that she thought could push her closer to the real Leonardo – but, no  _so_  close, so close to his pained reality in the blank stare that burned Karai's eyes.

They burn now and Karai blinks, taking in Donatello's edge in his voice as he admits, the raw sigh twisting into a hurting cry, "I want us to be okay."

"We will be."

Mikey's statement is steady and fixe, completely immediate and certain – the sureness passing through his eyes as they set on her. A feeling clenches in her.

"Mikey-"

"But," Mikey shakes her arm from her to point a finger to Raphael's side before he interrupts, "maybe you should stop thinking and talking about him in secret and  _I dunno, actually_  talk  _to_  him."

The feeling clenches again and she perceives it as guilt. She closes her eyes shut for a minute. What has she done to help?

"'Cause he talks?"

"So?" Michelangelo's stare is intense; it's almost scary how much it reminds Karai of her fa – of the Shredder, before it turns fond and open altogether, "just show him you're there. Dudes, I think he needs us more than ever," he nods his head to her and keeps looking at her for a while.

Do they even like her? Does it matter if they do or not?

He turns his fist towards Raph and Donnie and nods again, "No turtle left behind."

They move their own fists to meet his. "No turtle left behind," they confirm. And then, their eyes turn expectant and promising as they catch hers, lights of hope and maybe, affinity, blending between them.

It makes Karai remember of the warmth she's used to feeling around Leo – not the predictable and flimsy Leonardo or the real and broken Leonardo – her Leonardo.

She holds her fist in front, too, "No turtle left behind," she affirms.

_That's_  no secret.

* * *

Leo is pale as a sheet when Karai slips into his room, "Hey, Leo? You there?"

His face has no expression what so ever and she's almost ready to go – he doesn't seem like he wants her there – and then she sees the look in his eyes.

Eyes so blue and cold and watering, just as the waves he's been through, accompanied with black bags and dry tears – eyes that now don't hide behind his blurry bandana, behind the mask he had managed to wear-

Eyes that harmonize hers so easily and thoughtlessly, as if their whole souls were always in sync.

Karai rubs hard her eyes and the concealer stays on her knuckles insistently. She sits lightly on his bed and glides her hand beneath the blanket he's tucked in, brushing it against his large hand and placing it on his thigh.

Leo doesn't flush at the gesture, as he would months ago, doesn't even stir – his head just falls in front and Karai sighs.

"How are you?" she presses, squeezing his thigh, but all he does is lift his head and look at her, a stare spotless and full of visible and invisible scars.

It's like she's looking at a mirror. But, she doesn't allow her mind to linger on that – doesn't allow showing it. Instead, she smiles encouragingly, a kind gaze. "Did Mikey come to show you the awesome tattoo I made him?" she brings up a topic and he barely blinks, "Don't worry, it's henna, temporary," she adds, sort of jokingly.

"April baked some weird cookies," she continues, and tips her head, sticking the tongue on the roof of her mouth, "but they're actually pretty good. You should try them," the silence in the small gripping walls of the chamber kills her.

"Later, maybe," she offers tentatively and it takes her by surprise when Leo actually nods, the faintest of smiles lingering on the edges of his lips.

"Okay." She bits her lip to keep it from grinning. A small yet victorious step. His brothers –  _her_  brothers, they'd be proud. And happy, she's sure – just like  _he_  might be in some time.

She shifts on the bed, moves nearer and under the thick blanket until she's pressed next to him, closer than she could ever be.

Leo leans on her shoulder, breathing against her skin and Karai lets herself start to drift, not admitting to herself how much she needs this, too.

She has to keep being strong – even if she's not fooling anyone. "I…," she hedges.

_I understand._

_I know._

_I'm in the same position._

_I feel you._

_I need you._

_I love you._

"I'm here," she finally says, cheeks heated, feeling as if it sums up all the battling emotions in her and feels a pleasant sense overcome her.

Yes. She  _does_  know  _him_.

Leonardo, son of the wind, waves and ripples, the great leader, born from the shadows and remained there, an unguided hero of burdens and insecurities and a thousand ways; his head resting on her chest, now, vulnerable – he showed her his scars, and in return, he let her pretend that she had  _none_.


	4. Romantic Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to tonight's episode where I try to write the Leorai angst I want to and in the end, I just manage to write fluffy and lovey-dovey stuff; yay for oocness :D (I'll put this along with the 'I want to explain everything in my stories and my characters are perfect so my writing ends up dull and boring' problem XD)
> 
> I literally wrote this chapter exactly the way I wanted in my head, but once I got in front of the computer, my mind went blank. XD Spoiler Alert; Leo loves Karai so much and the feeling is very much reciprocated.

_Do you got plans tonight?_  
I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan, and I  
I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight  
'Cause I can't get you off my mind  
Can't get you off my mind  
Can't get you off my mind

* * *

Romantic Trip

* * *

Leo can safely say that he did  _not_  expect that.

The cheers and screams of joy are pounding in his ears, make him feel like he's in a club or something – not that he'd know how that feels like – and he sighs in exasperation that turns into unconditional fondness when his brothers come close and nuzzle into him.

"Dudes, if you don't open them up  _now_ , I'm leaving," Casey declares somewhat seriously, but it's hard for everybody to take him seriously when his words are muffled with the frosty, delicious cake that is placed in front of the table.

Mikey really outdid himself, Leo thinks and the proud grin, a Sensei-like smile, cannot stay away from his face.

Mutation Day.

They're here; after another year of hard fights, collisions, smearing blood and stained innocence – a year of  _loss_. But they are  _alive_  – and here to celebrate it. That's what  _he_  would like them to do, either way, Leo muses, biting his lip at the sight in front of him.

All of their friends – round in a circle and bundled up together with expectant smiles covering their flushed faces and gifts around them – gifts for  _them_.

For the freaks of the sewers, the unnamed shadows, the unnamed  _heroes_  – Leo cannot blame Donatello for breaking the silence with a grin as the camera appears easily in his hand, "We have to capture this moment."

It's almost dream-like, the sparkles in his brothers' eyes that are not unshed tears anymore, the crunches the wrappings make when being ripped and the way the gifts fall in their hands like they belong to them.

Leo watches Raph give Mikey a wholehearted headlock and hold him there, like he's afraid a spell is going to be broken.

He watches Donnie pressing Casey into the tightest hug he has ever seen, soft murmurs passing between them as Donnie plays with his fingers.

Watches April stuffing her mouth with cake and twisting her expression into a blushing freckled thing when Shinigami offers to clean her up with soft fingers that run across the corners of her mouth – Karai clears her throat as her eyes set on him.

"Leo," her tone is laced with mocking disappointment as her eyes twinkle with what Leo guesses is mixed pride, mischief, and affection – the most beautiful eyes he has come to meet.

"You didn't open my present for you yet," she complains, tucking a lock of hair and it seems as if the whole party presented in the celebration agrees with her in less than a second, with matching grins.

Leo rolls his eyes at the  _'Yes, Leo's', 'C'mon's'_ , and ' _What are you waiting for's'_ , and catches the small, light file that has her name written on the table. It's red and rough when he takes it in his hands, weighing it, but the only weight he can sense is the odor of her whooshing perfume.

Karai's face is stretched with a lovely grin of anticipation and endearment that Leo hands-down  _adores_  and it forces him to open the folder more quickly with fidgeting fingers and quivering lips, which almost immediately fall loose once he sees it.

"Huh?  _Huh_?" She sounds so excited that his now wide eyes look into hers with an expression torn between unbelief and astonishment.

"Are you – are you kidding?" His question is soft and logical to him, and Karai's nod with an ample grin that melts Leo's heart in slow and low drips makes him stay mouth-gaped and staring even longer.

He doesn't even realize it when Mikey grabs the papery note from his hands with ninja stealth-like moves that would usually make Leo's chest filled with pride, but he's too busy probably drooling in front of Karai right now.

"Is this… an invitation? To a hotel?" his youngest brother asks with a tentative voice, awkwardly trailing off before an inhuman sound leaves his mouth. "EEUGH! Holy Chalupa, dude! You're going to  _freaking_  Japan?"

And the murmurings of their friends around him, calls of joy and stupefaction drown in his ears as he gets up from where he's sat and speaks, "Kar _ai_ ," his tone feels weird to him, too, because his voice sort of cracks and maybe a daring 'aww' makes an appearance in the way he says her name-

But, she won't even let him speak, doesn't even make clear this whole – Leo doesn't even have a word for it – he chooses  _miracle_ , as she shrugs and winks at him deliberately.

"I mean, I thought to get naked in your room with only a bow tied around me and  _be_  your present, but I'm not sure you'd appreciate the gesture," she says as a way of explanation, with her lips turning upwards and it's perhaps the first time when Leo's cheeks don't get red at the snorts and nudges of his clan – of his  _family_.

"I – I," he can't seem to know what to say, how can he speak when the person he loves  _so much_  that burns in his plastron and sets his heart to unforgivingly pleasant flames just stands with a small smile the edges of her lips, as if what she has just done  _isn't_  the most wonderfully meaningful and thoughtful thing he has ever been given?

Karai saves him from his fumbling mess with a feverish and passionate kiss that leaves him breathless and heavy at heart. After enduring a round of good-natured catcalls and jeers, she lets her lips linger on him a bit longer and they're tingling as Leo trembles a whisper on them, "This is the best present I have ever got."

And as Karai slides a hand around his broad shoulders and taps her fingers, soft and loud chuckles of different people with similar reasons echoing in their small and cozy kitchen and deadening Raph's whining gasp, " _Hey_  Leo, I thought you said my handmade scarf was the  _best_!" Leo wishes-

He wishes his father is somewhere around here, watching them silently and humming with his usual smile, feeling happy they seem to have everything taken care of and right. Because things  _are_ finally  _right_. After  _so long_. And Leo doesn't want the moment to end-

Except when it's to fly completely across the world, to his father's homeland – to feel  _him_  and his presence closer – to feel  _himself_  weightless.

Karai's crooked smirk does manage to make him years lighter and bright in barely two seconds, as well.

And Leo cannot keep the huge grin from covering his face as everyone, after hours of partying, cake and alcohol, go to sleep, splayed out on the floor and snoring – and Karai presses herself closer to Leo with a smile.

She chats quietly, gives details about all the plans she has for him – for them, explains the trip thoroughly, from the suitcases, the private jet flight to the hotel and the festivities she has organized.

It makes Leo jittery, not able to sleep, but he's not complaining since Karai grabs a blanket and tucks them in, opens the TV with a flash in the dark so they can watch  _Criminal Minds_  in peace and whispers in his ear tenderly.

Some murmurs make Leo laugh widely under his hand, because he is not waking up his brothers and friends, as Karai whispers to him, "I'd kill for you, too."

"I think murder is  _not_  a healthy flirting method," he says softly on her jaw and she snorts emphatically.

Others give Leo spins in his head and his heart swells so much with unbearably undeniable love while Karai brushes her molten lips on his neck again and again. His heart beats with as much love as surprise, because he can't believe Karai remembers all the mellow comments he had admitted about his desire to visit Japan – silly little things she kept tucked in her mind till now.

Karai tosses him the most heavenly gorgeous smile and Leo thinks she's like the sun.

* * *

"I really can't believe it," April says months later as she folds the edgy dark outfits in the suitcase, fighting to fit them all in.

"Are you going to need thicker clothes?" she asks with furrowed brows, opening another drawer, "Is it cold in Japan this time of the month? Though I'm sure you'll keep each other warm," she adds, smiling knowingly and Karai grins wickedly.

She can't believe herself she's returning home – the word fills her with a sense of comfort she's only able to find around Leo.

It took her a while to realize that home isn't necessary to be just a place, but a person, too and when she sees Leo  _is_  that for her – Well, introducing her new-found, warm home to her old-time home is a must-have.

Plus, Leo is just so adorably dorky when beaming charmingly.

She's a bit annoyed with herself if she's honest – getting so excited over a simple trip, over  _Leo_  – it's not her. She acts like a lovefool schoolgirl and it's starting to get in her.

But this is their trip –  _their_  moment. They deserve it, that's for sure, and Leo's bright grin can push away all of her doubts and insecurities in half a second.

She loves it when he's happy. She loves it when she makes him happy. She loves-

"Karai?" April's question startles her, and she turns her head to her – to her friend. She has  _friends_.

"Don't forget to get toothbrushes," April says with all the concerned worry of a mother whose child leaves and Karai bites back a laugh. "And you T-phones," she continues and lifts her head from the shuffling clothed to look at her, "Oh, tampons too."

"Don't worry, I have it all covered," Karai sighs fondly and then, her expression shifts in curiosity as April's worried look turns in something unreadable.

Karai has come to understand that friends are not so easy to read as enemies – and it bothers her as much as it annoys her. April always said that, the wise man learns more from his enemies than the fool does from his friends, though.

They had had enough  _'best-friend-sleepovers'_  to wrap her mind around it – she cracks a smile at the thought involuntarily, before pursing her lips as April clears her throat.

She moves closer, eyes narrowed and fidgeting fingers as she slips something in her hand and it takes all of Karai's willpower not to laugh out loud at her friend's reddened cheeks. She holds up the foil condom packages with a smirk tugging her lips and she thinks it's impossible how April blushes even more.

"April O'Neil," she drools on, and April's nervously rolled eyes are too amusing for her, "What are you implying?"

"Come on, Karai, you know what I mean."

And Karai cannot pretend she doesn't know what she means, but's it's a bit strange for her to see people care so much – it was weird enough with Leo, now April too?

April remains flushed as she starts, sighing, "Um, I just – I want you two to be okay,  _y'know_ , when you-"

"We don't," Karai snaps promptly, just to clarify, because she doesn't want April – or anyone in their clan that would die for Leo with no hesitation for that matter – to believe that this is her way of dragging Leo away for her scandalous intentions.

She's worked hard to earn their trust – Leonardo's trust, as well. The trip is what Leo needs and Karai is not planning on pressing him into anything.

April seems to get it, and she twirls a stray lock of hair in her fingers, moving back to the suitcase. "I know," she nods, "but if –  _if_  you had anything in mind, I just want you to be sure – and safe. I've seen you two. You're  _close_. And you deserve it," she adds in the end, just to be accurate and the grin that appears on Karai's face is ceaseless now.

The warmth in her chest is full and Karai wants to express it – her gratitude to April for being such a – such a  _friend_ , because it is still an unbelievable and foreign concept to her – with an indirect teasing comment,  _of course_ , but hasn't the chance as April throws a sports bra in her face.

"But if you hurt him," she threats, serious eyes that gleam of protection and actually make her look vicious, and Karai can guess she's learned these tricks from Shinigami.

"Hurt him? As if he wasn't hurt enough," she sighs as a way of saying that  _no_ , she is not going to hurt him – not in the slightest, definitely not on purpose and not accidentally, too, even if it takes every bit of her heart.

Besides, at this point, it's kind of as if he owns her heart with a lovely solacing grip around it.

"Okay, good," April seems relieved as she stuffs Karai's make-up case in her suitcase – like Leonardo is the younger brother she has and wants to care about for miles – which makes Karai wonder if she spoke to him, too – and then, she smiles.

Slowly and gradually, looking at her with guileless eyes. "I'm happy you love Leo so much," she says fondly and Karai would honestly try to deny it fiercely if it wasn't for April's sudden hug that crashes her insides.

"You people are such cuddlers," is all that she manages to say and April's smile is teasing when she breaks the hug and looks at her.

"You say ' _people'_  like you're not part of the family," she deadpans, "well, I've got news for you, Mikey's already organizing the decorations for you and Leo's wedding." She slides out of her room with that same joking expression on her face, before zipping her suitcase shut.

She just leaves Karai standing there, reddened cheeks and a ghost of a smile haunting her lips.

Her eyes move to the picture frame of Leo she has on her nightstand. His eyes are blue and  _beautiful_ , transmitting clenching feelings right in her heart and his smile pierces through her – and Karai tries to scold herself for wanting it there.

But she just can't.

The ghostly smirk widens in a genuine, crooked smile as Karai puts hastily the hotel's card in her pocket, as well as April's  _surprising little gift_.

Because you never know.

* * *

"Karai, look,  _look_!  _Clouds_!" Leo's juvenile tone in the early of the morning makes her snort sharply through her nose.

He's almost pressed next to the window, eyes so wide and shapeless and Karai cannot prevent the sarcasm from dripping in her voice. "Woah, Leo,  _yeah_ ,  _these_  are clouds."

"Karai," he turns his head to send her a deadpanned expression before twisting his face in something scrunchingly adorable. "Look how awesome they are! The sky looks so nice from here!"

"Have you  _never_  seen a sky?"

"Not from this close."

The air inside the plane is cold and rigid, forces Karai to pull the sleeves of her shirt till they reach her palms. She feels as if she's been sitting on the seat for days, although it's probably been only two hours.

She tries to stretch her neck. "Okay, before you start pressing your face on the window, c'mere," she orders with as much tenderness as she can and laughs with the way Leo clampers across the seats to get next to her.

He presses the corniest kiss on her cheek, barely at the edge of her mouth and Karai's lips quiver with anticipation. She's ready to say something, perhaps a snide comment about him being the sappiest nerd, but he preempts her with a smile.

"This is really great, Karai," the sincerity in his voice sends low waves of steadfast love in her heart, "Everything's great. I mean it. I don't know I can repay you," he adds with the slightest brush of lips against her skin and Karai twitches.

She sprawls her neck in exaggeration. "You can start by giving me a massage."

His large hands are no longer reluctant as they press against her shoulders and neck with exactly the right amount of force and – and  _love_  (he's able to love her with the simplest of ways) and Karai leans in the unfamiliar feeling of comfort, sighing.

She almost misses it when he asks, laced with honest curiosity, "What are you working on?"

She blinks and shakes her head, eyes heading back to the computer on her legs – hands still rubbing soothing circles and tracing the knots and scars of her shoulder blades. "I'm – I'm just checking to see if all's okay with the hotel."

"You're on an online-shopping site," Leo responds dryly.

"Can I not do our purchases at the same time?"

"Whatever you say," he breathes in her ear, fingers tickling the nape of her neck and raising goose bumps all over across her body, "Although, I'm not sure you're going to fit even more clothes in the suitcase."

" _Oh_ ," the exclamation is a mix of pleasure and real twinkling mischief as she turns her head to look at him, "don't worry about that. I'm actually just buying stuff for  _you_  more," she points out sneakily.

The bewilderment on Leo's face deserves all the Oscars.

"What?  _Why_  Karai?"

And then, suddenly Leo's look shifts in something Karai knows as 'are you kidding-you shouldn't have'. "Ah, don't make that face," she scolds him. "There are so many stuff we have to visit and I can't have you running around all turtle-y and ninja-y."

Leo pouts even more. "And the hotel won't mind having a mutant guest?"

"Pff, please," she waves off the uncertainty with gracious fingers, "the hotel is like, the most luxurious one there is – practically no one goes there."

Leo raises an eye ridge. And then, he exclaims as quietly as he can, throwing hands in the air and tossing glances to the front of the plane, which make Karai's eyes roll hard, "Oh, clothes and an expensive hotel? You can't just spend and so much money on stupid things, Karai!"

"I'm not spending them on stupid things," she says firmly, because she wants him to understand, "I'm spending them on  _you_."

He looks still expressionless as Karai lifts a hand to caress his cheek; it's amazing how they're so different, and yet, manage to look like drops of water – because Leo seems to think he isn't worthy of all that. Well, he's wrong.

Then, maybe, she's wrong, too.

"Plus," she adds, to cheer him up, with a dark chuckle, "just think of it as a revenge on Shredder's credit cards. Does that make you feel better?"

Leo shrugs, a small smile tugging his mouth. "Kind of."

She giggles almost uncontrollably, raises his chin up and crushes her lips on his sultrily. "How about that?" she inquires with a smirk. "Better?"

"Much," he agrees fervently and meets her lips again with a grin.

"Good. Now check these stuff out!"

And they sit with eyes glued on the computer screen, their seats uncomfortable but they don't mind – being next to each other makes it cozier – and giggle at the crazy clothes Japanese fashion sites have to offer.

Leo picks the most insane for them to buy and wear – as if they're going to anime conventions – face glowing, innocent, boyish features he seldom reveals – and Karai's heart beats at that a hundred times faster – and a hundred feet away from the ground.

But  _he_  grounds her.

* * *

"It's sort of weird. This is my first New Year's Eve without my brothers and without,  _y'know_."

"Yeah."

"I want a – a favor. To go to the Chichibu Night Festival.  _He_  always talked about that. He liked it a lot."

"Yeah, sure. That… that sounds very nice."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. It's a nice festival. I've been there. Not from up close, but lemme tell you-"

And just like that, Leo's eyes go bright and glittery and endless as Karai scoots closer to him – tries to bring into life all of her fleeting memories about it – the floats decorated with gorgeously colored carvings and the brilliant splashes of color in the winter time.

The fireworks, which bring the festival to its climax and manage to look identical with the flashes in Leo's eyes that are able to make her feel warm and go years back in the lands of memories.

She looks right through them, never breaking the contact – wanting to memorize the shape and feel of his eyes so she can compare it with the way they're going to sparkle when the fireworks are going to be right in front of him.

* * *

The room is so costly and so big Leo feels he's going to get lost in it – with a purple sofa, the hugest bathroom, too many lamps and lights that give the room a comfy view – or maybe that's because Karai is there with him.

She takes him by the hand and gives him the grand tour, her fingers trembling. They tidy up their stuff, fill their closets with clothes and shoes, the cups in the bathroom with toothbrushes and the tub with bubbles.

Karai sinks in the bubble bath with a sigh and Leo lets her rest, knows how much she needs this – especially after everything she's gone through for a present – just a present for  _him_.

He finds the chance to video call his brothers; he has to wish them a happy New Year early, since hour difference is so confusing and impractical, and explain in detail his first day of the trip. His tone is too happy and childish, but his brothers welcome it, smiling in unison.

And between their comments; Mikey's "Dude, pictures, pictures,  _pictures_!", Donnie's "Have fun and a  _great_  time!" and Raph's "Do I see only  _one_  bed in the background? Leo?  _Leo_!" he is truly and immensely happy.

When Karai has finished her bath and Leo has taken his hot shower too, they decide to stay in – and sit in their spacey balcony, wrapped with blankets and wrapped around each other – with Chichibu's breathtaking view circling them, cold and promises of snow in the loud hoorays of people below them.

With cheap rose champagne in their hands, stolen courteously from the lobby (Karai's initiative entirely) as they watch and count backward till they reach zero and greet the new year with clinks of glasses and a yawny kiss.

They don't seem that sleepy when they get in bed, though, turned to face each other with grins that radiate in the pitch darkness of the room – just merely inches away from one another – it makes Leo nervous and uneasy.

So they stay under the bed linens and just talk – talk almost all night – about stupid, meaningless things, stories from the past, repressed feelings and untold truths, wishes for the future, which brush Leo's awkwardness away and replace it with a pulsing feeling that pounds in his plastron when Karai chuckles loudly, because no one is around to hear them this time – automatically and genuinely – as Leo says dorky things to have the honor to hear that winsome sound.

"You should get a new one," Leo says as he maps the tattoos on Karai's naked stomach and ribs – so muscly it makes Leo snicker adoringly (She is  _so_  strong and he likes that  _so much_ ) and she squirms beneath his touch.

"Like what?" he likes her kind tone – he  _loves_  it when she's gentle – and the way she probes with their anticipation.

And Leo leans in, a dopey smile spread on his face as he replies with light up eyes, just to hear her snigger and watch her eyes dance in laughter, "Maybe a – a  _unicorn_."

And the laughter does make an appearance in his ears as Leo closes his eyes, with Karai's fingers still weaving through his, and dreams of happy times and special things.

* * *

Leo's over eccentric clothes arrive a day later. Before they reach their destination, Leo and Karai decide to hang out in the room and stroll around the almost silent hotel.

It's too boring and Karai decides Leo and the room can provide her a better  _distraction_  – Leo has slightly the same idea,  _kind of_. "You must be joking," Karai says and it's very hard for her to roll her eyes at him when she's laughing that hard.

Leo plants his feet on the purple sofa and grins. "Absolutely not." His face is too bright for her to look at it as she hides her chuckles behind her hand – because the fact that Leo packed their family Monopoly is beyond her.

"You're such a kid."

But they play anyway, Leo's grins are always the most difficult to resist – and Karai can't say she isn't enjoying this.

She regrets it moments later.

"I cannot believe you!" Karai exclaims theatrically, "after everything we've been through together, the battles we fought side by side, the sacrifices we made for each other, the bond we formed during times of bloodshed – you dare  _betray_  me like that?"

Leo is adamant. "Give me the two thousand, Karai and no one will get hurt."

And somehow like that, they end up rolling on the floor and sparring playfully – for fake money above all things – Leo's lips turned up in adorable ways that Karai always wants to see adorning his face.

She doesn't hesitate when she leans down to kiss him.

And she doesn't hesitate, as well, while she reaches for his calloused hand, fingers tangled between the bunches of people, as they walk around Chichibu.

He looks surprisingly cute in his human attire, wrapped around large pants, layers of jackets with too flashy colors, scarfs and beanies – and Karai dares to steal glances at the utterly cuteness that is his face as she points around things and explains.

They visit the Mitsumine Shrine – incredibly ornate structures that blend in well with the natural environment.

Leo stares the distinct stone statues that take the form of wolves with an expression that screams amazement and she can't help but melt into a smile, but when he turns to gaze her, he looks even more amazed – at the sight of her – and Karai cannot believe his face could twist into something even more endearingly adorable.

They join the Chichibu Night Festival, too – it makes her head spin to see all of this again, but this time from up close – massive floats decorated with glided wood carvings, lanterns, and tapestries paraded, with traditional flute and pleasant drum music playing in the background, not as pleasant as Leo's gasps and endless eyes, though.

His fingers tighten in her grasp, as if he's scared and surprised, when the impressive fireworks display starts – and continues for hours. It's so pretty along with the winter season in Japan.

Leo is still stunned – trying to take the whole festival in – the huge crowds of humans, the strange yet balmy festivities – and his fingers don't dare leave her hand.

When she tries to shake it off his grip – to fix her hair a bit, because she isn't such an idiot to stop holding him – her anchor – he squeezes it firmly, whispering in her ear, "I need you."

Karai's heart accelerated beat is just as inevitable as the smile that creeps on the corners of her lips. "For?" she inquires, trailing off and his short reply is breathed in her hair like a pray.

" _Forever_."

It's late and it starts to get colder. It doesn't bother them that much – they have a reason to stay muffled all snuggly, Leo's face tucked in his puffy, colorful scarf and her hair – to hide his face she guesses first, as the lights begin to dim – to smell her she thinks second, as she feels him sniff.

And her sigh is supposed to come out exasperated, but transforms into something fond that reddens her cheeks; only lightly.

They finish their walk way after midnight (there goes their curfew,  _oh_ , they're  _just breaking the rules_ ), the streets having lost their enthusiastic crowds from before – passing next to the food stalls that sell sweet rice wine lined along the city lanterns and talk.

Talk countlessly and for hours again – (it seems as if late night, sometimes rooftop, conversations are their thing, Leo chirps in and Karai agrees with a smirk and a purr, "Just like swordplay foreplay" just to see Leo fumble and blush like a comely dork) – as they eat delicious Okkirikomi Udon soup that drips hotly on their jaws, which  _do_  get cleaned later – and banter friskily.

Karai loves it when they do that.

She loves it as the moonlight falls on Leo's giggling face and mirrors through his eyes – just like the fireworks did before – and Karai wants to slap herself back to her old and broody, sassy, emotionless self when she thinks he looks nothing else than  _beautiful_.

His face is even more beautiful later, beneath her and lay on the soft pillows and rose petals, as Leo sounds breathless and panting.

She kisses it, with no reluctance what so ever, biting lightly his lower lip as he grips her lower back. Her fingers travel across his body, exploring all the dips of velvety flesh and hard shell, which seem pristine and when she hears her name out of his mouth like a plea, she grabs the hem of her thick shirt and takes it off.

Things get heated; hearts pounding, fingers scratching lines of pure passion, lips pressed fiercely – till Leo coughs.

He breaks the kiss, his hand at his chest and then lowering at his stomach, as his face scrunches in disgust. "I don't feel good."

Karai frowns, pursing her lips. "It's just the nerves, relax," she says with a tender, comforting voice as she runs her hands on his arms soothingly – because she actually believes it at first – but Leo almost chokes, his breath caught in his throat, blue eyes round and wide as he gets up and runs with tremendous speed at the bathroom.

And then he  _pukes_.

The sound reaches Karai's ears and she groans – falling shirtless on the bed and sinking her face in both hands.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Karai says through the phone, for probably the millionth time these days – and she isn't sure what she's sorry for. Leo has spent two days in the bathroom before finally giving in to call Donnie, and she's the one who gets scolded on top of this.

"I'm sorry, I should have called earlier," she repeats again, scratching the manicure off her thumbnail with twitching fingers. "He's… not that good."

When Donatello asks for symptoms, she wants to fly off the window. Leo is really sucky. The greatest trip ever –  _not_. "I don't know. He's been puking for days –  _and_  he has diarrhea – I think his head hurts too, it's –"

She moves her head to the bathroom door, in Doctor Don's orders, and asks, "Leo? Donnie asks what color it is."

The cry that comes from inside is incredulously outraged. "You  _DID NOT_  just ask that!"

Karai's nose crinkles in the same way it does when Leo's brothers play burp contests – and she rolls her eyes. When she said she wanted to get more intimate and close with Leo, she didn't exactly have that in mind.

"I meant the  _vomit_ , Leo," she mutters and when she opens the door slightly to give him the phone so he can communicate with Donnie better rather through her, his face is embarrassingly red.

It's even redder as Karai sits with him in the comfy armchair, between blankets and hot water bottles, and feeds him angel hair pasta.

She tries to be patient – really, but sick Leo (even if it's just a food allergy) is something new to her – and she realizes this type of Leo can be just as stubborn as Raph and just as childish as Mikey. Donnie had already told her to be more tolerant of him,  _like a lot_ , because he knows his brother better than everyone.

She guesses he acts even more headstrong now, because he's with her – and having a food allergy in front of your partner? Probably not the most attractive thing in the world. But she gets it. If she were to stay in the bathroom for three days with Leo outside trying to reassure her (or encourage her)-

Well. She'd rather die.

Leo presses his lips into a thin line, turning his head away from the spoon and Karai sighs. She feels as if she's just as embarrassed as he is.

When she urges the spoon in him, he swallows the spoonful with gaggings, before meeting her eyes with an expression that looks self-conscious, apologizing and burning altogether. "I ruined our trip," he whines, "I'm sorry. I'm gross."

"You're not. S'fine," she tries to soothe him. Keyword;  _tries_. She's not good at this. Maybe it  _would_  be better if the positions were changed. "Don't worry. Remember the annoying, cranky maid? We'll ask  _her_  to clean the  _bathroom_ ," she says, just for the laughs.

She gets worried that perhaps it's too early for jokes like this, but when Leo replies to her laughter with a soft chuckle and accepts the next spoon with a smile, she cheers triumphantly in her head.

They exchange sweet glances among the plates of angel hair pasta that come and go. Leo finds the time to complain ("I'm smelly. And I can't even sit. It hurts," he grumbles, and she is not surprised, if the days he spent in the bathroom were any indication) and Karai to mock him ("Imagine if you had used a suppository").

Still, she's too dumbfound – cannot believe how they've managed to keep close in the most awkward of moments; she guesses almost life-losing fights do that – and Leo's eyes are less glassy than before when they spend their night on the balcony, once his stomach is mostly settled.

"I'm still sorry," he says again, with those eyes that make her sink in them with the most delightful and inviting way.

"I still like you," she mimics his tone and means the sentence – because they have so many days before going back to have fun – because she's not brave enough or ready enough to utter the other word that starts with L – because his eyes are the most thoughtfully exquisite gift he could ever give her in return – and Leo huffs a laugh.

"I'd kiss you, but I've been throwing my guts up for the past days."

Karai catches his mouth in a searing kiss, either way, searching for greatest gifts in him.

* * *

The days pass smoothly, never-ending, with Leo finally all healed.

Karai wastes no time in getting him out of the room again, and he is more than glad to feel the cold wuthering on his face and breathe the fresh air – air he can only find around her.

It's  _amazing_  and he takes many pictures, because he promised so – the places he had only dreamed of, the places he heard from Sensei's stories and imagined them with bright eyes in the middle of the night – these places are now in front of him splayed wonderfully and maybe his childish gasps as he sees them are too dorky.

But he doesn't care.

He only cares about the sight before him – and her – Karai guiding him through these with her eyes, her hands and mouth – sighing towards the familiar sights before sharing a sharp tongue and tangy kisses with him.

The serene, almost meditating-like, calm expression she wears as the watch from the balcony on the last day – it's blissful.

"I liked it a lot here," he says in the silence of the moment, fingers searching to find hers. "Thank you," he murmurs, because she deserves to hear it, but she only snorts.

The starts on the sky light up beautifully and reflect on Karai's eyes in ways that seem impossible and fitting – Leo is ready to bring them down for her – only for her.

"I get why we came here," he says instead, smiling. "You  _love_  it," the words are boneless on his tongue, graced with sincerity, because he knows  _this_  for Karai – it's everything.

But, she just squeezes his hand tighter and he feels her shake her head on his shoulder, as if he has said something wrong. Her voice is hoarse when she whispers, "I love  _you_."

And just like this, stars explode behind Leo's eyes and their constellations spell Karai's name in the language of love, promise, honestly and sanctity – his entire existence narrowing down to the shape and feel of this moment, as she leans in to close the tentative gap between them and leads them inside.

They make love for the first time, tangled under simple sheets, with no candles or rose petals, bodies intertwined, moving in the rhythm of their stubbornly beating hearts.

It's not premeditated, like before. It's unexpected.

And it's slow, warm and tender,  _overwhelming_ , almost like the most profound part of unflinchingly blended devotion.

Bathing in their afterglow, Karai urges Leo closer, his head tucked in the crook of her neck, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of his head.

Leo rumbles throaty in her hair, hiding the silly, goofy, little thing that is decorating his lips as they brush lightly and nip her earlobe. She hums. He lets his eyes close dreamily shut, and thinks how wrong he was.

The best present she ever gave him was her soul.

* * *

(They return – to  _their_  home – armed with shields of faithful love – love that didn't know existed but found its place senselessly in the empty parts of their souls. Graced with unwind shoulders as their burdens lay in Japan. They could kill each other – but they would  _die_  for each other.

If they see the ambiance floating around them – they don't point it out. They don't comment the difference – but they don't need it; they  _know_  it. They  _feel_  different.

Feel like they've dived in the waterfalls of the Garden of Eden as they all hang and laugh, playing karaoke as if they're young and pure again.

Leo's heart sings a song, at first incomplete – until Karai's heart whispers back.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are writer chow! :D


	5. Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, obviously, I had no story planned for the last day, so yay, you get a poem XD It's one of my old poems actually, and it's kind of sucky because I had to translate it in English from my native language :/ I swear it's better in my language XD
> 
> Still, I think it turned out sort of good. Right? :) It's a good way to say goodbye to Leorai Week.

_Too young to feel this old_  
Watching us both turn cold  
Oh, I know it ain't pretty  
When two hearts get broke

_I hope someday_  
We'll sit down together  
And laugh with each other  
About these days  
All our troubles  
We'll lay to rest  
And we'll wish we could come back to these days

* * *

Wishes

* * *

Ten years later

And your scent still envelops me.

 

I think it's my imagination,

Once again, but your pulse is strong

Your breath is hot on my throat.

 

You're sleeping in my hands, I don't want to turn

My back is very fragile for your knife

I have learned.

 

You're moving and I'm afraid you'll leave

Disappear and let go.

You always left without understanding

That no one was ever chasing you.

 

But you kept running

This is what you were good at.

 

I close my eyes and wish you're not a ghost

Again.

I wish you'll stay.

 

But, next morning I wake up, you're not there

And I wonder why I gave you a heart

Worth breaking.


End file.
